How to Control the Uncontrollable

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[00:00:00] Is there a way to control the uncontrollable? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. I am so incredibly grateful that you are here. 

 

So ,is there? Is there a way to control the uncontrollable? Now, I know that ultimately we’re looking to get out of control. I know that. I know it’s something I’ve been choosing towards in maybe bits and pieces over many, many years, and I’m way better at being out of control than ever before.

 

[00:00:36] What does out of control mean? It means allowing it to be what it is. Allowing the situation, the event, the relationship, whatever it is, to be what it is rather than deciding what it has to be and pushing and forcing, and making it be something that I’ve decided. So, I’m way better [with it now.] 

 

[00:00:58] What came up for me the other day, many of you know we’re in the process of getting our house packed up. We’re gonna move everything that we own that we would like to keep into storage, and then we’re hitting the road. We’re gonna sell this beautiful acreage. If anybody’s looking for an acreage near Sherwood Park, Alberta and loves the swimming pool, keep our place in mind. 

 

[00:01:25] What we’re doing is we’re going to go around the world house and kitty sitting – animal sitting. We’ll probably do some dogs in that, but of course, our preference is kitties. 

 

[00:01:38] The other day, there was so much magic that occurred. I had talked to a good friend of mine who’s a realtor. You guys have heard me talk about him before – Chris Hassall. If you ever have realtor needs in Lloydminster, Alberta/Saskatchewan, please reach out to him. He’s amazing.

 

[00:01:57] We were just chatting about things and he was just giving me some tips and suggestions and such. And then, the next morning I woke up to a random Facebook message from a local realtor who had seen a post that I’d put in one of the local groups two months ago. He was just following up with what I’d post like, what? It was so cool. I spoke with him and all of a sudden it was like, “Oh wow. Shit’s getting real.” Shit’s getting real! What?! 

 

[00:02:31] What was occurring is this feeling of — you guessed it — out of control. What I know about myself with that energy is that often, I can stop it. I can find a way. If I don’t acknowledge what it is, I’ll energetically stop it, which is usually not what I’m asking for. In fact, it’s usually the exact opposite of what I’m asking for. 

 

[00:02:55] As I became aware of that energy, I became aware that I could stop it. I started looking at, okay, yes, stopping it is one. What else though? What else could I actually choose with it? Huh? Okay, what would I require to have ease with it? 

 

[00:03:15] Now, I’m super excited about this possibility. I’m not sitting back going, “Oh, I wish we weren’t doing this.” I’m not. Also, there’s still aspects of it that are totally out of control like what if I pack something away that I require when we’re, say, in Australia? Oh no! Okay, go buy it! Hello?! 

 

[00:03:39] I mean, there’s these energies, right? That come up when there’s things that we can’t control — at least for me, there’s all sorts of insanity that comes with it and this idea that I should control it, that it’s right to control it when that’s the exact opposite of what I’m asking for. 

[00:03:56] However, I also have to honor me. I have to trust me. I can’t just go, “Oh, you know what? I need to be out of control, so forget it.” I’m just out of control and go on. No, I have to acknowledge that I like control so much that I may try to stop this magic because of my love for control, the lies I bought into that somehow control is better than out of control, that somehow control is right and out of control is wrong.

 

[00:04:27] In recognizing that, it was like, “Okay, so what do I actually require to put in place to have that sense of ease with the out of control?” We could call it “controlling the uncontrollable,” which is kind of the title that I used but really, to me, it’s an honoring of me in this process. It’s an honoring of me and Hubby because of course, Hubby’s coming with me so also, what does he require? 

 

[00:05:01] One of the things that he said right from the beginning is he needs to know that if we don’t enjoy it, we could come back and most of our stuff would still be available. I had this idea that we would go and just sell everything and he’s like, “No, I need to know that if we don’t enjoy it, we come back and we don’t have to start from scratch.” Okay, we’ll rent a storage and put the stuff in that we love. We’ll put it into storage. That’s what he needs and there will be more things. But that’s one thing that I was aware of that he needs. 

 

[00:05:35] As I really felt that uncontrollable and attempt to maybe control it, the other day after I talked to the realtor, it was like, “What do I require?” And so what I started doing was going through my stuff almost from a different energy of, “Okay, I would love to have this, but I don’t necessarily need it. Okay. But if I would love to have it, I’m actually gonna keep it for now.” 

 

[00:06:06] This is a few months before we list. We’ll probably list in May when the pool is nice and open and swimmable. Who knows? Maybe that will change. By then, maybe this will change. But for right now, in order to honor me and to honor this process and for me not to stop it, I have to know that I can feel okay through the process. Hopefully, that makes sense, guys. It sure makes sense in my head, but as I’m saying it, I’m starting to question it. So, yeah. 

 

[00:06:41] What do you require to be okay in those situations of uncontrollable? Maybe there’s been situations you haven’t allowed to get there because you haven’t looked at that. What if that’s possibly the missing piece? 

 

[00:06:57] Maybe you wanted to change a job. Maybe you don’t love where you work and you’d like to change that. A lot of times people go, “Oh, well. I just couldn’t go through all of that.” But you don’t have to do it. What if you started looking at what you might require to be okay with that? 

 

[00:07:17] Maybe you start looking at what’s available without telling yourself you can’t. You just start looking at what jobs could you apply for. Maybe there’s one that feels really great to apply for. Maybe you apply for it, but you tell yourself you don’t actually have to take it. Even if you get it, you don’t have to take it. Like, allowing yourself. 

 

[00:07:39] To me, it’s like a baby step. We can be so kind and caring to ourselves through these times of change that maybe it’s the change we’re asking for. It’s a change we’ve been dreaming of, such in my case, but also, be honorable. Be honoring of you to recognize when you might need a little bit of space or a little bit of assistance or the baby steps or whatever it is so that you can maybe feel a little bit in control through the uncontrollable. 

[00:08:18] We don’t wanna control it, but we also really need to honor where we’re at. At least I do, or I’m gonna kill it. These are things I know about myself and that comes to being so honest with ourselves. The willingness to be so honest with ourselves about what is, what we require, what we might choose, and really honor that. 

 

[00:08:45] A couple of things I would love to invite you to is the Bars. We’ve got one coming up in May. I’m gonna co-facilitate with Kim in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Yes, we’re going on the road! I’m so excited. I believe, if I have the dates correct, that’s May 25 for Bars and then I’m following up with me facilitating Foundation there. Come and play. I would love to hug you in person. 

 

[00:09:13] Even though we’re listing, I still set a Pool Party Bars and Foundation. I was like, “You know what? I can always move it.” If we have to move it somewhere, we’ll move it. We’ll move it. Hopefully, I could find an Airbnb with a pool or something. Otherwise, the name will just be funny. 

 

[00:09:28] But Pool Party Bars and Foundation, I did move it into June though for this year. If you can get here guys, I would love to have you come and play, and I truly wonder what else is possible and where else we will have these magical classes as we start going around the world? So excited. 

[00:09:47] Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful, and I look forward to chatting again next week.

 

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