Do You Do Failure?

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[00:00:00] Do you do failure? As you can see on my t-shirt, I don’t do failure. Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for you. 

 

[00:00:17] If you’re listening to this as a podcast, I have a t-shirt on that literally says “I don’t do failure.” it was gifted to me from my friend, Monica Froese, and I love her programs. I love her stuff. I love her shop. She is the one who’s assisted me in creating my new Shopify store. Oh my gosh. She sent me this t-shirt and I love it, and it inspired me to do this week’s radio show all about failure. 

 

[00:00:46] It’s something that I would say every one of us, maybe 99.9% of us, experience at some point. What I wanted to start off with was really debunking some myths about failure and then some tips for failure. Not like tips to fail, but tips to really turn that failure around.

 

[00:01:12] #1. The first myth is that failure is actually real. 

 

I know. I’m gonna do a whole radio show on something that’s not real. But it’s something that we’ve bought as real for so long that it’s worth a whole radio show on. 

 

[00:01:27] When I say failure isn’t real, I mean that when we judge that we failed, that’s when we fail. When something doesn’t go the way we would like it to and we receive that information, we receive the awareness from it, it’s actually a gift. It’s not a failure. To me, the trick of it is when you’re feeling like a failure, what you wanna look at is what could you receive from it. What could you receive from that situation? 

 

[00:02:03] Myth #2 is that whatever you failed at means you’re not cut out for it. 

 

That is such a lie. It could be lots of things. When we group it together and we say, “I tried to run a marathon and I didn’t do it,” it doesn’t mean you’re not cut out to run a marathon. It might mean you require different support. It might mean that you require a different strategy. It might mean a bazillion things. It doesn’t always mean you’re not cut out for it. 

 

[00:02:43] We’ve really got to look at that because to me, it’s a mindset shift where you’re aware of something you would like, you tried it, and it didn’t turn out the way you would like it to. Throwing it out and saying, “No, I won’t do that again” or “I can’t do it” or “I’m not cut out for it” is so unkind to you. 

 

[00:03:09] You could turn it around. Look at what would it take. What would it take to run a marathon? Body, what do you require to run a marathon? Turn it around. Ask your body. It’s your body that’s running the marathon, so include your body. 

 

[00:03:25] Myth #3 is that failure is the end of the road. 

 

That’s it. It’s done. You can’t do anything else. Better not try anything else. Let’s say you started a business and it didn’t work out the way you would’ve liked it to. Now, you have to go back to being employed… no, you don’t. There’s about a bazillion options between A and B. What else? What was it about the thing that you tried that didn’t work for you? 

 

[00:03:58] Here’s the other thing that I know. When we are trying something out or when we’re choosing something, if we are not 100% in, we are really not going to get it very far. I don’t mean that you should force yourself to be 100% in. If you have to force yourself, you’re not. It probably won’t work for you anyway. 

 

[00:04:26] It actually has nothing to do with failure, it has to do with being honest with yourself. What would you like? To me, there’s a level of self honesty required in our everyday life, in being successful in anything. It doesn’t matter if it’s business or anything. 

 

[00:04:45] For myself, I’ve been playing a lot with this incredible — I call it a “magic wand” because I love it. It’s got a different frequency, it does a lot of healing, a lot of energetics, and a lot of magic, and it’s just incredible. I was looking at how to set up a business with it and I had some really cool ideas because that’s something I have a lot of. 

 

[00:05:08] Luckily, I started looking at what that would all entail. To do it the way that I was gonna do it was like going to be a lot. A lot of my energy, a lot of time. I was like, “That’s not really so fun for me.” All of those pieces that were involved the way I was going to do it, it’s just like, “It’s not so fun for me.”

 

[00:05:33] If you would like information, reach out. I will get it for you and I will still sell them, but I’m not gonna do it the way that I had all those ideas for because I know it’s not fun for me. I’ve done that before. I’ve set things up that weren’t fun for me that seemed like a really good idea, and guess what? They didn’t work out because they weren’t fun for me.

 

[00:05:57] For me, there’s an energy with that. I don’t mean it’s like I sit around and do nothing and that’s the only way I’ll do business. That’s not it at all. I love to work. I love to work in my business. I actually call it “play,” but there are different things that I don’t love to do and I know myself well enough at this point to know that.

 

[00:06:18] Self honesty, to me, is such a huge piece of this whole failing thing because if we’re judging it as failure, we’re not being honest with ourself. We’re not looking at, “What of that could have I chose differently? What of that didn’t I desire to choose? What isn’t fun for me that I’m forcing myself to do?” I mean, there’s so many different ways that we can go with that. 

 

[00:06:40] Myth #4: Failure is something to be ashamed of. 

 

Now, this is huge guys. I actually discussed this on the last Real Conversations, Real Change. This is a monthly membership that I’ve got going on, and we talked a lot about shame and how we actually use it to stop ourselves. 

 

[00:07:01] There are times when maybe we personally require assistance or help and we don’t reach out because we don’t want anybody to know what we’re going through. We want everybody just to think we’re great and happy, and everything’s perfect but that’s such bullshit.

 

If we’re ashamed of what we’ve failed at, we’re not ever gonna receive from it. We probably won’t sit down and talk with people who could give us some insight, give us some awareness, or maybe get some coaching, or go to a class on it, or whatever it is. 

 

[00:07:35] If we just don’t allow ourselves to ever choose shame again and just recognize what it is — it’s just distraction. If I’m ashamed about something I failed at, what does that do for me? Nothing, except keeps me spinning in the shame, which never allows me to create greater. 

 

The trick is to recognize there’s nothing ever to be ashamed of. Shame is just a distraction. What could you receive from that situation? Who could you talk to about it? 

 

[00:08:06] Now, I don’t mean that if you’re going through something that you should, you know, say, post about it on Facebook, because there’s a lot of people that you probably don’t wanna share that with. But there will be people that you could and it could really allow you to grow as a person and grow in further choices in that area that you feel like you failed in. 

 

[00:08:26] Myth #5: Failure is a reflection of your worth as a person. 

 

Ah, stop it! Don’t go there. Don’t go there. It’s not! As I said earlier, I would say that every person on the planet has had a setback, felt like they failed, judged failure, or chose something and it didn’t work out the way that they wanted. Every one of us in one way, shape, or form has done that, so how could it be a reflection of us, of our self-worth? 

 

[00:09:00] I mean, self-worth isn’t something I even usually talk about because it’s so mixed in. There’s so many lies attached to self-worth. But if I was going to define self-worth, the way that I’m speaking about it with this is self-worth is about how you be in all the situations.

 

[00:09:21] When you’re in a situation where you feel like you’re failing, how are you being in that situation? Are you hiding it? Are you ashamed? Are you playing small? Are you playing the victim or are you standing up going, “Holy shit… well, that didn’t work out the way that I would’ve liked it to. Now, what?” Big difference. 

 

[00:09:42] I know for myself when I have done that. When I’ve been ashamed and tried to hide it and not want to talk about it. All I was doing to myself was spinning in the judgment of it. It was just going on and on in my head, and I did that with, you know, relationships. I did that with business stuff. I did that with friendship stuff. 

 

[00:10:02] I mean, every area of my life I’ve done that with, and only in the past, probably 20 years, that I’ve really been willing to be way more honest with myself, willing to be way kinder to myself, and have that level of honesty with me and not from, “You know what? I was stupid” and blah, blah, blah. That’s not honesty, that’s judgment. But an honesty of like, “Wow this really didn’t turn out the way that I would’ve liked it to. Now what?” 

 

Now what? 

 

[00:10:34] Myth #6: Failure is always a bad thing. 

 

Here’s the thing, guys. If you stop judging — let’s change that. If we stop judging good or bad, like, stopped using those references ever, everything would change because to say that success is good and failure is bad puts so many limits on what you could receive. Whereas if you don’t have that, if you choose something and it turns out better than you could imagine and you receive that, and you choose something and it turns out way worse than you could have imagined and you receive that, then none of it is good or bad. It’s all receiving. You get way more awareness, way more information.

 

[00:11:22] Recognize that in where you might be judging yourself with that, where you might be saying to yourself, “Oh, I’m so bad. I’m so wrong” or “I shouldn’t have chose that” or… stop it. Stop it. Failure is only failure if you’re judging it. Otherwise, it’s beautiful information. Incredible awarenesses are available when you’re willing to receive from it.

 

[00:11:47] Those are just some myths that I’ve come up with that really will allow you to start looking at all the lies you’ve told yourself about failure. And now for some tips on how to embrace it, how to really turn it around. 

 

[00:12:03] #1 is embracing those things, situations, events, whatever, that you’ve judged as a failure.

 

Embrace them. Look at them. Get present with them. Get honest with yourself about them. It will truly change everything for you, because then all of those judgeable offenses that you’ve decided will no longer be judgeable offenses. You’ll be really present with, “Wow, you know what? I didn’t desire to do that, and I thought it was a good idea, or somebody suggested it so I did it” or whatever it might be, or “It was a really good idea. I loved it. It didn’t work out this way. How could it work out?” 

 

Get to change it around you. You get to receive from it, receive all the awarenesses from it, and then turn it into whatever it is that you would like to turn it into. 

 

[00:12:52] Tip #2: Pivot when necessary. 

 

[00:12:56] Now, whenever I hear or say the word “pivot,” I think of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episode where they were trying to move a couch upstairs, that it would never go up and Ross kept saying, “Pivot! Pivot!” that’s always what comes to mind so I always have a little giggle with that word. 

 

[00:13:13] Please be willing to pivot. I would say, and I’m gonna speak from a business standpoint right now, this is so necessary right now because everything is changing now. Everything has always changed, but I don’t know about you. It just seems like it’s changing more and more and more. What worked in business even six months ago isn’t really working now. So we have to be willing to pivot and pivot, and pivot, and pivot, and pivot, and pivot, and pivot. It’s not wrong. It’s not failing. 

 

[00:13:46] If you see somebody who’s maybe never pivoted, maybe they have one business model and they’ve kept it that way, and it outcreates every year, good for them! Let’s celebrate them and recognize when we require to pivot. 

 

[00:13:59] If we put our energy into competition or into “Why do they have that and I don’t,” that’s a really crappy use of your creative energy, my sweet friends. Put it into, “Okay, now what? Now what?” 

 

[00:14:13] Here’s a little thing from me to you. If you’ve never recognized that change is what inspires you, you might wanna start looking at that. Now, I can’t say for sure that’s for you, but for most people who hang out with me, listen to my radio shows, come into my classes, all the things, change is what lights us up. Doing the same thing the same way over and over and over and over and over usually doesn’t work so well for us. You’ll only know for you about that.

 

[00:14:44] The other thing I wanted to mention as I talk about business is I’ve got a whole Business Success Series coming up. Yes. The link will be above or below. It’s just at time of recording, I don’t have it all figured it out so I can’t give you more information but we will have the link available by the time this comes up. You can click on it somewhere. 

 

[00:15:06] It’s a whole series of classes. You can attend one of them or you can attend all of them, whatever you would like to do. It’s more tangible stuff like setting up sales pages with coupon codes, order bumps, affiliate links, and all the things. So, check it out. If you’ve got questions, just reach out. 

 

[00:15:26] Tip #3: Remember why you’re choosing whatever it is you’re choosing.

 

Whatever it is you’ve decided you’ve failed at, why did you start in the first place? What was the energy behind it? What was the value of choosing it? What were you looking for? In business, you wanna look at that. What is your “why?” If you are creating a business similar to mine, what is your “why?” 

 

[00:15:51] In TikTok, I actually created a whole video and I’ve got it pinned to the top so that if people are wondering about me me, they can watch why I do what I do. We’ll put a link to it here too, if you guys wanna watch that. 

 

[00:16:04] It’s something that really will allow us to keep choosing when we’re clear on that. Now, I don’t always talk about figuring out your “why,” because a lot of times we end up using conclusion and judgment in it. However, it is something for you to look at. 

 

[00:16:23] In short, for me, I spent a lot of my life not knowing, not even realizing there were any other possibilities… like, at all. Once I started, I took a Reiki class back in 2002, and it invited me to this whole new world. I go, “Wow… I want everyone who would like to know there’s another possibility.” I want everyone to know. Everyone who was like me, I would love them to know there’s always a bazillion possibilities. That’s my “why.” 

 

[00:16:57] Look at what yours is in whatever it is you’re choosing, and that will allow you to really choose in those places and times where it feels like you’re having a setback or it’s not working, or you’re failing. That energy of the “why” will totally shift it for you, remind you, and assist you to move forward. 

 

[00:17:17] Tip #4 is surround yourself with people who are choosing the similar experience that you are. 

 

If it’s business, get in some business coaching. Get in some business masterminds. Get in a networking group. If it’s running marathons, go connect with those people that are doing it. Really find the support in whatever it is you’re choosing to really give yourself a boost, so that you can actually succeed at whatever it is or create whatever it is that you’re looking at. 

 

[00:17:50] Often, we don’t allow support. We don’t even look at it as an option. But go back to that myth about being sh ashamed. What if we get rid of that, as I said already, and just choose? Surround yourself with the people who are choosing similar things, experiences, whatever that you’re choosing. That will totally contribute to you.

 

[00:18:13] Tip #5: Be kind to you. 

 

There’s never, ever a reason to judge you. Ever. Ever. Can I say it enough? There’s never a reason to judge you. Stop it. It’s all about being kind to you. Choosing, receiving the awarenesses from that choice, choosing again. Choosing again, receiving the awareness, choosing again. No judgment required. In fact, judgment will only kill, as I’ve already said, so be kind to you. You will create so much more with that energy than self-judgment or judgment of any kind. 

 

[00:18:55] Tip #6: Celebrate. 

 

Celebrate what you chose. Don’t base it on celebrating only what you succeed at. Celebrate on your choices. What are you choosing? Even if they didn’t work out the way that you thought they would, it gives you way more awareness. Way more awareness. 

 

[00:19:15] Back in 2013, I leased a space in the city that was close to where we were living at the time, Lloydminster, Alberta, and I really did it. It felt super light, super yummy, super expansive. I was following the energy. 

 

What occurred about three months after — don’t even know if we were even in the building yet. We were doing some renos and stuff and I got my first invite to facilitate classes in Ireland. 

 

[00:19:45] Oh my gosh. Of course I’m going to do that, which that then inspired all these other invites all around the world. We started traveling. Actually, back then it was just me because Hubby was working at the time so he wasn’t able to travel with me. I was traveling to all these other countries and there were months that I was paying the lease on this space that I didn’t even use it because I wasn’t home to use it. 

 

[00:20:12] Now, I could have looked at that as a failure. But is it? No. Of course it’s not. Not for me. I had more of a desire to be traveling and facilitating classes around the world than I did to be going home every night. 

 

[00:20:33] We could say, “Oh well then you must not have followed the awareness. You must have just concluded you needed…” No. The one thing I know for sure is that by leasing that space, it actually contributed to my global business. How? I have no clue. I just know that it did.

 

[00:20:50] The other piece with that is that we wrote a year and a half into the three year lease, and I went, “I don’t wanna do this anymore. This is crazy.” 

 

So I phoned my realtor, also a great friend of mine, and I just said, “How do I get out of this? Is there a way? Can I? I don’t even know if I can get out of this!” 

 

What he told me was, well, he gave me the options and he said, “You could find somebody to take it over completely,” and I’m like… that. I would like that. 

 

Well, guess what? The same day, there was a person who’d previously had that space and had contacted my realtor friend and asked if there was any space in that building available. They took over the lease completely. I walked away after a year and a half. Flew away, I should say, on the airplane. 

 

[00:21:42] Really, this is what I’m talking about. We could put a lot of energy into how much money I spent to create that space and all the time I didn’t use it and all the wasted money… No. I know the gift it was. I know the gift it was. 

 

[00:21:59] This whole piece is really recognizing that you never fail EVER. Every choice you make is gifting you awareness. You may get the awareness to never make that choice again or to pivot. That’s cool, but stop judging that you’re failing. 

 

[00:22:22] Now, I would love to invite you. I’ve got two upcoming Business Done Different classes. Both are available online, or May 5-7, 2023 in Calgary, Alberta AND online, or June 9-11 in Davidson, Saskatchewan, AND online. I would love for you to come play. There’s so many different ways to be in business than the way that we’re shown here.

 

[00:22:50] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

 

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