What Matters Most?

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[00:00:00] Have you ever considered what actually matters the most? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you. 

 

[00:00:13] I am actually in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. This is the beautiful river. You can see some of the fall colors showing up behind me. I could not get the beauty that’s over there on the camera, so I will maybe try to get some video to add in here. It’s just gorgeous, even though it’s like early September. We are getting the fall colors already. 

 

[00:00:39] I was not supposed to be in Canada right now, and it’s kind of the inspiration for this show — what actually matters the most?

 

[00:00:53] Someone that I care about deeply got sick and actually is in Saskatoon here in the hospital at time of recording. Hopefully, that will have changed by the time you listen. All the plans that Hubby and I had made, suddenly, none of it mattered. All that mattered was I got here to be with the person that I care about.

 

[00:01:16] We were actually doing a sit in Sylvan Lake. It was our final sit in Canada, then we were heading down to the U. S. We were supposed to be in Lindstrom, Minnesota this weekend and heading towards Massachusetts, Florida, and all the places. When my loved one got sick, I just really started looking at, “What actually matters the most?”

 

[00:01:42] What actually matters the most is, one, that I’m not out of the country when they are in the hospital in the state they were, you know? We weren’t quite sure what was going on, what was happening. There were lots of tests being run. So, I really looked at, “What matters the most?” 

 

[00:01:56] Well, I knew to finish the sit we were at. Of course, I could have told the people we were sitting for that I had to go and they could have arranged something — of course. I knew that didn’t have to happen, but I did need to finish it and then get here to Saskatoon which is exactly what we did. So grateful that we did. 

 

[00:02:17] Everything, everyday is getting better and better. My loved one is getting healthier and stronger every day so it’s amazing, and I’m so grateful I’m here. I’m so grateful that I’m willing to look at, truly for me, what matters the most. 

 

[00:02:33] This is the thing — and if you’ve been around here for a while, you’ve heard me talk about different things like this, but it wasn’t from what do they need. What does my loved one need? It’s weird, right? It’s actually what do I need? What do I need? 

 

[00:02:48] It’s a difference between, in a sense, choosing for me and choosing for someone else. All the times that I’ve chose for someone else, it was really from this energy of superior bitch like, “They need me and I must do this for them.” Superior bitch and martyr and just all the ick. 

 

[00:03:10] But when I looked at what do I need, yeah… suddenly, it was so easy to choose for me — to choose to know that in fact, what was interesting is the Lindstrom, Minnesota sit, they actually canceled for us. They were heading to Florida, and Florida had some hurricanes so they actually canceled which was great. 

 

[00:03:31] And then the other sit that we knew about doesn’t start for a little while but I had just let her know I’m not sure until I know. That may not be for a day, a week, who knows? She did cancel us and then has space to book somebody else in, which also was working for me because I also didn’t want that energy of I need to be there for her pets. I needed her to take action for her and I needed to know that I could be here for as long as I’m going to be here. 

 

[00:04:07] I mean truly, it’s beautiful here. Most of it I have been spending in the hospital during visiting hours. For today, I just knew I needed to come here. It’s such a beautiful warm fall. I mean, it’s supposed to be fall, but I think the temperatures are very similar to our summer temperatures. Just this beauty, truly, this beauty… yeah, it’s so healing. It’s so… yeah. 

 

[00:04:33] Now, it’s not to say that you don’t consider other people when you’re looking at what you would like. That’s not what I’m saying at all, but it is something that you want to ensure that you’re looking at what works for you. You’re really honest with you about that. There may be times where you still choose for someone else, or you choose what they would like, but at least — I often refer to it as at least, let yourself have a say.

 

[00:05:02] If I knew that I really wanted to get going and I really wanted to go to the US, then that’s a different energy. I can look at that. I can look at what’s required for that, for my loved one in the hospital and have conversations with that. In this case, for me, it just really works for me to be here. It really works for us to have the space. 

 

[00:05:21] Hubby got to go on a solo sit by himself — I guess that kind of makes sense — near Prince Albert on a farm. There’s a donkey, there were chickens, there was sheep, and two outdoor cats. He had a very relaxing sit and he will actually join me here in Saskatoon tomorrow.

 

[00:05:43] [I’m] just so grateful how well we’re taken care of in the sense of that sit opened up and he got some time and now, we get to hang out together starting tomorrow. And then, we will just choose every day based on what’s going on here and all of that. 

 

[00:06:02] It really is this space of, “What would you like?” Again, I say that but it’s not ONLY what would you like. It’s like what is going to create greater and what matters the most to you? 

 

[00:06:19] It’s so funny because we — I say “we” because I’ve done this a million times — make all these other things so significant. How much money we’re making or how much money we’re not making, that upset with a friend, or the cranky boss. We make all these other things so significant but really, what truly matters the most is probably the people that you care about.

 

[00:06:46] I hope that you are on that list. When we talk about someone that you care about, I hope that you’re part of that. One of my good friends who knows what’s going on, she just keeps saying to me, “Make sure you take care of you, too. It’s great for you to be there.” I was feeling much better once I got here. She said, “That’s great, but make sure you take care of you, too.” 

 

[00:07:08] Looking at that for yourself, all the people that we care about on the planet, make sure you’re one of them for you. Make sure you’ve got your own back. Make sure you’re willing to invite you to the table to look at all of the choices, all of the possibilities, and all of the things that you would like to be choosing or not like to be choosing, and what it would actually take to change that.

 

[00:07:32] If there are places and spaces that you know that you’re not actually choosing for you or choosing the way you would like to, what would it take to make those changes? Again, it might not be right away. It might not be something that you can do differently right away. It might be looking at how to arrange it. There might be someone else that you need to bring in, assistance that you could ask for, or different social programs. Who knows? There’s so many other things, but you got to let you know first.

 

[00:08:02] I’ve actually been talking about that. I mean, I’ve been talking about it a lot for years, but I did a radio show, I think very recently around being honest with yourself. Just make sure that you’re honest with you. 

 

[00:08:12] If if you’re doing something that you don’t wish to be doing, then okay, cool. Be honest with you about that. Let you know. Otherwise, we create this sort of resentment and this sort of upset and separation and usually, we are getting upset about things that aren’t actually upsettable. Yes, I’m making up words. We make these other things really significant when they’re actually not. There’s something else underneath it. 

 

[00:08:39] If you can be honest with you about what’s going on, about what you would like to be different, how much more magic could you actually create with that honesty with you?

 

[00:08:50] Again, we’re not talking about being honest with the people around you right now. Let’s start with you, because that’s the number one, and then the other stuff, you can figure out.

 

[00:09:00] To me, it’s so much more ease. Even in this situation right now, I’ve had some conversations with the other people who care in terms of “What do we need to have set up?” in terms of maybe a little bit of a break for me at certain times and how does that look for them too, and bringing it all together rather than going, “No, I’ll do it all,” and then being mad or being upset or being hurt because nobody’s offering or all of that insanity. 

 

[00:09:29] Honesty with us allows us to ask for what we would like, allows us to have the clarity, and then really start choosing in that sense. 

 

[00:09:39] There we go. Maybe we’ll make it to the US here shortly, and maybe not. This isn’t so bad. This is beautiful. One of the things that we were going out to Massachusetts for was the beautiful fall colors. Kind of got some here. Not “kind of,” there’s a lot. You just can’t see it very well on the camera, but you can a little bit behind me there. You know what? If nothing else, I got some beautiful fall colors. Of course, there’s always next fall. 

[00:10:06] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

 

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