How to Show Up as You
Ready to live your life as you?
As we dive deeper into crushing imposter syndrome, another question that often pops up is how do we show up as ourselves? Let’s answer that in this week’s episode as I share more of my magical tips and tricks so you could start showing up everyday as your truest selves and living your life on your own terms.
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[00:00:00] How to show up as you? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for you. Yeah.
[00:00:13] If you’re watching this on video, you see a beautiful swimming pool behind me and in a few hours, the water will start coming out of that hot tub area. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work to do my videos with that much noise going on so I had to come out a little bit early, which also means I’m not in there because it’s a very cold pool, which I love when it’s so hot out. I am in Florida in November. It’s amazing. And the pool is amazing, but not at 8 o’clock in the morning. So, there we go.
[00:00:43] All right. How to show up as you? My goodness. This is probably one of the most asked questions of me lately, especially as I’m talking more and more about imposter syndrome.
[00:00:55] I had a free call. If you didn’t get the download, you can go and access that. Link will be above or below. It is an invitation into a 5-week program that I’ve got starting in January of 2024 all about Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can actually feel confident and successful in your life and in business. Yeah. Let’s do it, guys. Let’s do it.
[00:01:20] If you haven’t seen my previous two radio shows where one is about my journey with imposter syndrome that I didn’t even know I was doing, and then also about kind of going beyond doubt with it. This is kind of just another piece of that.
[00:01:35] So, to show up as you, really, you have to recognize that you have value as you. Not as an echo of somebody else’s work, which I did for so many years. Not as someone that you pretend to be, or pretend to be to fit in, but you. You have value as you. Ah, right?
[00:02:03] How do you show up as you? I get that we can start choosing to show up as us even if we don’t have, say, crushed imposter syndrome just yet. Maybe we’re still operating it from bits and pieces or maybe a lot, it doesn’t matter, but we can still choose to show up as us. What it takes, in my experience, is recognizing when you’re not. Recognizing when you’re choosing to show up as someone else, or show up in a way that you fit in, or show up in a way that makes other people happy.
[00:02:37] It was a big one for me, I would say, probably my entire life. My value that I’d put on myself and others had put on around me was making sure other people were happy. That was where my value was. So, it wasn’t actually a value. That’s no value of me. That’s a value of something that I can do, and I can do it very well. Let me tell you, oh my gosh. I could have awards in it as probably many of you could also, and that’s not showing up as me. That’s showing up as how someone else would like me to be, or act, or do, or whatever it is.
[00:03:14] First step is to really start looking at where are you not doing that? Be aware of that. When you walk into a room and you maybe weren’t just feeling 100% bubbly, but you walk in and you just put that face on like, “Oh my gosh, everything’s amazing, everything’s perfect,” it’s like, that’s not you. That’s your being something for somebody else.
[00:03:36] Now, maybe in some situations, that’s appropriate and possibly not. You really have to look at that for you. Look at where you’re not being you.
[00:03:46] Do I mean you should walk into a group of people and be like, “Oh, everything’s horrible and all is awful and the world is coming to an end.”? I’m not sure that’s you either. You might though be in that space and that’s also okay. That’s also okay. In that case, you might actually, if you were choosing for you, you might not even go to that thing, that event, that group thing.
[00:04:07] I mean, I’m talking very generally so you really need to look at it for you. Really need to look at all the different pieces and parts for you, but that is where you want to start. Start calling yourself out. Just you personally, you don’t need to announce it, but call yourself out when you’re not choosing that, when you’re not being you.
[00:04:26] You don’t even have to change it. This is the thing, guys, that I have found to be the most helpful is I let myself off the hook. I can acknowledge I’m not being me but I don’t have to do anything about it. If I want to, I can, but I do not have to. This has been such a game changer because then I’m more apt to call myself out on it. I’m more willing to say what I’m choosing or acknowledge what I’m choosing when I also don’t have to change it.
[00:04:57] Be like, “Wow, I’m really choosing to be somebody else here. Okay, cool,” and then I could change it or not. That becomes the choice, but it’s not relevant. That is, I would say, step number two, in a sense. Not that I’ve thought of these as steps, but that’s the way I’m speaking to them. Acknowledge when you’re on it, and don’t force yourself to change it.
[00:05:16] For some of it, there might be an awareness of what that is. Maybe every time you get together with a certain friend group, you choose not to be you. There might be some information in that. There might be some awareness in there for you. It’s not right or wrong, you know?
[00:05:34] As you guys know, if you’ve been around here for a while, we’ve been house and pet sitting around Canada and the US for many months now, like, July, August, September, October, November. Five months now. I can’t believe it’s been that long. We are loving it.
[00:05:48] But one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I will not be all of me when we are in, say, the interview process. The way that it works with Trusted House Sitters — if anybody’s interested, reach out. I’ve got a link. It will save you, I think it’s 25%, and I also get a couple months free if you use it.
[00:06:08] So, you apply for a sit you’re interested in, and then we invite them to do a Zoom. I always invite them to do a Zoom. I just find it easier if we get to meet face to face. And so then I will find that often on those Zooms, I’m not 100% me. I’m more aware of what they would like so we can get the sit. But do I really want to get a sit that I can’t be me on?
[00:06:31] Of course, in the sit process, they maybe introduce us to the animals and the house and in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and then they’re gone. We’re not with them for the sit, but it’s still a funny energy. I’m still aware of it when I’m choosing it.
[00:06:45] We actually had two different things come up this week with people that we’ve applied for sits. In both cases, I was like, if I wasn’t choosing for me, I would actually say yes to this. One, I recognized it, and two, I was willing to change it. It’s like, no, actually, I don’t need to be something different. If they don’t like it, it’s actually okay.
[00:07:12] Yeah, that’s a big part of it for me. It’s like it’s okay if they don’t like it or if they don’t like me. Usually, I’m silly enough to make it personal. It’s crazy, right? “They don’t like me.” It’s not about that.
[00:07:24] But I was willing – I was willing to acknowledge it, I was willing to choose different, and I was willing to voice it, which I’m just so proud of because It changes so much. It changes so much. Now, I will be even more willing to be me in those sorts of situations.
[00:07:42] Look at that for yourself. Look at when you’re not being all of you, when you are choosing for other people or to make other people happy, or all of that insanity, and then look at, “Okay, what would I actually like here? What would I actually like here?”
[00:07:59] I mean, I’ve always had such great adoration and respect for people who are willing to just be honest with what works for them and what doesn’t work for them in situations because, again, I tended to more often just to be aware of what the other person wanted and say that’s what I wanted, and then be upset and resentful and all the crazy-judgy of me, judgy of them sometimes.
[00:08:24] The willingness to be me and say yes or no in situations without adding any story to it, it’s a huge part. It’s a huge part. It’s a huge part to then being willing to be more of me in every situation.
[00:08:39] These are something, kind of like a job interview, right? We’re in a job interview, and being willing to say what works for me or doesn’t work for me, you might not get that job. It’s funny that that’s more valuable. Being the chosen one is more valuable than actually being the choosing one.
[00:09:03] Partly my willingness to say no in these situations was recognizing how much fun it isn’t when I choose something that I know is a no for me. And then it’s not fun, and then I’m cranky, and all the things.
[00:09:20] You can apply this in any area of your life, of course. A lot of times we talk about this from a business standpoint, because we look at, say, our potential clients, our potential customers, as they are everything, right? There’s a saying that the customer’s always right. Is that actually true? No. Sometimes, absolutely.
[00:09:42] We had bought some shirts here for Hubby at Macy’s and I washed them. I washed them because I said to him, “You know what? I’m not sure you’ll follow the instructions so I’m going to do it” as we spent enough money on them. They’re beautiful shirts. I washed them as per instructed and they still shrunk.
[00:10:01] They were a Columbia shirt, so I actually talked to Columbia first. I’ve never done this sort of thing before, but it was like, “No, actually, this is not okay.” I talked to Columbia first. They said we need to take them back to Macy’s.
[00:10:13] Right on Macy’s receipt, it says if they’re worn, [they’re] not taking them back. But I’m like, all right. We went back and they took them back. She pointed out that this was a return policy. They weren’t taking them back, but they would do that.
[00:10:29] In that case, it wasn’t necessarily right. The woman that was assisting us was probably just aware that we had only had them for a few days and all the things. It wasn’t like we had them for six months and he wore them and then we were just tired of them. It was just a couple days.
[00:10:48] Anyway, so that’s one case. But let’s say it had been six months and we took them back and there’d been lots of use on them. Then I’m not right. Again, not that it’s about being right or wrong. That saying can really trip us up as business owners because if the customer is always right, then we are being the chosen one. We’re not being the choosing one.
[00:11:12] There’s been times where I’ve actually fought in terms of, say, a PayPal refund. I’ve actually fought it and said no. They got what they asked for, here’s how it’s all set out, all the pieces. I’ve actually won some of them. Some I didn’t.
[00:11:27] In those cases, it’s okay to be you, to look at what works for you, and also be willing to “lose” those clients and customers that don’t actually contribute or that wouldn’t maybe be fun to continue to play with. That’s something that a lot of times we just don’t look at as business owners. And so we’re not being all of us because we want the client, we want to make sure they’re happy, we don’t want bad reviews, all of this insanity.
[00:12:00] So, lots of things for you to think about. Again, come and join us for the 5-week Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can feel confident and successful in your business and your life. If you didn’t get the free call, you can go and download it again. If you don’t see any of the links, reach out and I will get them for you.
[00:12:18] Have a fabulous week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.
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