What is Perfectionism Costing You?

Nov 19, 2023 | Radio Show

What is Perfectionism Costing You?

Spoiler alert: A lot!!!

Let me tell you now, sweet friends, it takes a TON of time and energy to be a perfectionist. Is it really worth all that? Tune in to this episode where we discuss this and the tools you can use to manage, and possibly overcome, perfectionism so you could open yourself up to more magic and possibilities.

If you liked this episode, you can now show some love (and support the radio show at the same time!) by Buying Me a Coffee ☕ How does it get any better than that?! I’m excited and would be so grateful to receive a cup of coffee from you, my sweet friend.

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] What does being a perfectionist cost you? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life With Myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for you.

[00:00:11] Yes, if you’re watching this on a video, I am swinging. We are at a house and pet sit in Melbourne, Florida. They have a tiki bar with swings, a big ol’ pool over there, and the sweetest little puppy named Max, who is 119 in human years.He’s sleeping, as he does a lot.

[00:00:31] So, what does being a perfectionist cost you? A lot. A lot. Whether you’re being a perfectionist in your business, in your personal life, it doesn’t really matter. If you look at the time and the energy you put into being the perfectionist, it’s costing you a lot of that time and energy.

[00:00:51] Where is that really coming from? Being a perfectionist is often from this place of controlling ourselves, this place of needing to be right, and it takes 110% judgment to do that.

[00:01:05] So… if that is you, if you are a perfectionist, if you know that you have to do things and redo them and do them and redo them and have all the judgment in there, what you might want to start looking at is if that was a friend of yours and they were showing you, let’s say you’re doing a video for business. If they showed you that video, what would you do? What would you say? Would you tell them to re-record it?

[00:01:32] Now, in some cases, absolutely. There’s been times where I’ve restarted videos, of course, restarted podcasts, of course, or clipped out something I said in the middle of it. 90% of the time, I don’t have to do any of that. I just sit down and start talking and we clip off the very beginning and, of course, me getting into the swing, nobody needs to see that, and then the very end. But 90% of the time, that’s it.

[00:01:55] And then, there’s 10% of the time where it’s like, man, that just didn’t fit what I was saying or I didn’t find the words and it just doesn’t make a very good audio or video or whatever it is.

[00:02:06] It’s not that re-recording or doing something again is necessarily wrong. It’s just what’s the energy behind it. If you need it to be perfect, one, you’re not going to get stuff out there. It’s going to cost you a lot in business because you’re going to be very slow.

[00:02:23] One of the things that I find so interesting on, say, TikTok. Now, there’s lots of different social media platforms and I’m just speaking directly about TikTok right now. If you were to watch some of the videos on there, there are some where they intentionally make a mistake because it gets more views, it gets more comments.

[00:02:46] What I mean by that is if you watch a cooking video and they’re, say, cutting up a lemon, they’ll actually leave the sticker on the lemon so that people go into their comments and say, “Oh my gosh, you missed the sticker on the lemon. Oh, you just drank that,” or whatever it is. It’s really funny. It’s a bizarre thing. The perfect, what we might define as “perfect” or “polished” isn’t actually the things that get the engagement.

[00:03:14] I would say, for me, if I was going to guess why that would be is because we know we’re not perfect. We know nobody is perfect. If somebody’s coming across in their video or in their business that they’re perfect, it’s not going to speak to the same people. It’s not going to have the same energy.

[00:03:35] Will there be some people? Of course, because we’re maybe looking to get a little bit better. But 100% perfect, polished all the time? Probably not.

[00:03:44] The other thing that you want to look at is… in my experience, and a lot of people will tell you this, is that it’s the story that gets people engaged with. Again, I’m speaking about it from a business standpoint. It’s the story that gets people engaged. If you have to be perfect, you’re probably not sharing those stories where you weren’t perfect.

[00:04:08] Now, I stumbled across this by accident. When I first started this podcast back in 2013, oh my goodness, what I started doing was just sharing my stories. Sharing of where I was at and how I changed it.

[00:04:22] I didn’t do that because I read a book. I didn’t do that because a business mentor told me to do that. All those years ago, I wasn’t working actually with business mentors. I was just doing what was fun for me. What I found was sharing the story, sharing the problem where I was at and how I changed it. It’s what people were really interested in.

[00:04:41] Again, if we go back to being a perfectionist — and there’s certainly radio shows, podcasts, videos that I’ve put out where it was like, “Oh no, I know how to do this and here’s how you do this, and now go do this.” They’re not so fun to watch compared to “Here’s where I was struggling, here’s how I changed it, and here’s how you could change it too.”

[00:05:03] Going back to the title of the show, what is being a perfectionist costing you? A lot. A lot of time. A lot of energy. A lot of creativeness. That judgment and that wrongness that we put ourselves in is actually killing all of our creations. It’s killing our possibilities.

[00:05:24] Again, I’ve been speaking to it from a business standpoint which, yes, absolutely, but it doesn’t have to be. This could be your personal life, too.

[00:05:33] If your house always has to be perfect to the point where you don’t have people over because it’s not perfect or you feel shame if somebody stops in unannounced, then that’s costing you your mental health. That’s costing you your sanity.

[00:05:49] Now, all of this, how do you change it? How do you change it?

[00:05:52] To me, first step with everything is really looking at acknowledging it. Being like, “Wow, I’m trying to be perfect here” or “I think I need to be perfect here” or “I should be perfect here, isn’t that interesting?” Call it what it is. “I’m doing this, interesting.” “I’m doing this and I’m wrong,” no. “I’m doing this and interesting. Okay, cool.”

[00:06:17] You could look at, “Okay, so what would I like it to be like?” Hmm, I’d like to be okay with people stopping in unannounced. Okay, what is that actually going to take? The house being perfect all the time? No, that’s not it. It’s being okay with what is.

[00:06:36] And also looking at, in this case, people stopping by unannounced are probably friends. What if you look at those friends? Are they coming over to judge your space? If they are, then maybe they’re not so much friends. But probably not. They’re just coming to see you. They don’t care what your house is like.

[00:06:53] Now, in some cases, you might really just not be happy with the way your house is and you would rather it be different before people came over. Cool, then what can you put in place to get it, to change it so that you can have guests that are unannounced?

[00:07:08] Now, I say that [and] I’m laughing at myself in my head because I’m not a huge fan of unannounced guests and it has nothing to do with the state of my home or other people’s homes as it is now. It really has to do with my comfort level of having people unannounced.

[00:07:28] As I’m saying that, please know you don’t have to be okay with unannounced guests. You can have it be where it just doesn’t work for you and you ask people to let you know when they’re coming by. That’s totally fine. But if you’re doing it from the shame or you need to be perfect, that’s a different energy.

[00:07:43] Acknowledging what is – okay, here’s where I’m operating from. How would I like to be operating? How would I like this to be? Start looking at that instead.

[00:07:52] The other thing is a lot of people who are perfectionists, of course, they might have received that message growing up. You might have had a parent tell you that you need to be perfect, you need to get it right. That might’ve been really drilled into you. I get that that can be a huge factor for some people.

[00:08:11] It’s great to say, “Oh, I’m just going to acknowledge what it is,” and I get that that could be bigger for you. Please know that’s okay if it is, and that you might want to look at what’s required to change that, to change that programming.

[00:08:25] There might be a different therapist, or A therapist. There might be somebody who can assist you with it. There might be a book to read. There’s a bazillion things. We want to look at that, too. We don’t want to, the word is called “bypass,” where we just go, “Oh no, I’m fine and I’m just going to not be a perfectionist.” No. If that’s really drilled into you and that’s really where you’re operating from, that’s a different story.

[00:08:47] The other place that perfectionists can be coming from for a lot of people is the Impostor Syndrome. I did an amazing free training this week and it’s available for download. You’ll find the link above or below. It’s called “A Tool to Crush Impostor Syndrome.”

[00:09:02] It was so much fun. Oh my goodness. You might want to go check that out and see if that fits for you. See if there’s some magic in there to really assist you with that.

[00:09:13] But that’s one of the places where it can come from. It’s just having this idea that you’re not valuable as you are, so you need to then be perfect to be valuable. What if that’s just this huge lie? Like, huger than huge than huge lie that many people have been buying into because you don’t need anything added, ever, to be valuable, my sweet friend. You are valuable just by being. You are valuable just by being.

[00:09:47] If you want to start paying attention to the places where you’ve decided you’re not valuable, or that you need to add things to be valuable, that’s a really great place to start looking at the imposter syndrome, too.

[00:09:58] Now, I’m not saying that every person on the planet is operating from imposter syndrome. Studies have shown 82% of the people on the planet are operating from imposter syndrome.

[00:10:08] There are people like Taylor Swift — yes, I’m a new Swiftie. I’ll be going to her concert next year, 2024. Very excited. There’s like Tom Hanks. These big names who, if you see them perform, you just think they have it all. They’ve got it all figured out. They’re totally confident in who they are. Sometimes, yeah. Like every one of us, sometimes, yes, and sometimes, no.

[00:10:36] Along with that free training, what that is inviting everyone to is a new program that I’ve got starting in January of 2024. If you’re watching or listening to this later, it will be available, of course, in a course form. It’s called “Confident as Fuck.” It’s a 5-week program where we will crush imposter syndrome so you can truly succeed in business and life.

[00:11:00] If you’d like more information, again, that link will be above or below, but do check out that free training. There’s a lot of information in there to really start shifting it, and that tool is magical no matter what area of your life. No matter how you’re dealing, how you’re showing up with this imposter syndrome.

[00:11:18] Just to recap, what I’d like you to look at if you’re struggling with this perfectionist stuff is start acknowledging when you’re choosing it. Start acknowledging when you’re operating from it. And then look at, “Okay, what would I like it to be like? How would I like that to be?”

[00:11:33] If you’re not putting videos out – let’s say you’re recording videos and you’re not putting them out because they’re not good enough, how would you like it to be? Well, probably putting them out. Then just do it! Just do it.

[00:11:44] Remember the people who, on purpose, cut up a lemon that still has this sticker and put it in a blender so that they get more engagement. If you’re messing it up, you’re probably going to get more engagement, and how much fun can that be? How much fun can you have with all of this?

[00:11:59] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

How to Show Up as You

Nov 12, 2023 | Radio Show

How to Show Up as You

Ready to live your life as you?

As we dive deeper into crushing imposter syndrome, another question that often pops up is how do we show up as ourselves? Let’s answer that in this week’s episode as I share more of my magical tips and tricks so you could start showing up everyday as your truest selves and living your life on your own terms.

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] How to show up as you? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for you. Yeah.

[00:00:13] If you’re watching this on video, you see a beautiful swimming pool behind me and in a few hours, the water will start coming out of that hot tub area. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work to do my videos with that much noise going on so I had to come out a little bit early, which also means I’m not in there because it’s a very cold pool, which I love when it’s so hot out. I am in Florida in November. It’s amazing. And the pool is amazing, but not at 8 o’clock in the morning. So, there we go.

[00:00:43] All right. How to show up as you? My goodness. This is probably one of the most asked questions of me lately, especially as I’m talking more and more about imposter syndrome.

[00:00:55] I had a free call. If you didn’t get the download, you can go and access that. Link will be above or below. It is an invitation into a 5-week program that I’ve got starting in January of 2024 all about Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can actually feel confident and successful in your life and in business. Yeah. Let’s do it, guys. Let’s do it.

[00:01:20] If you haven’t seen my previous two radio shows where one is about my journey with imposter syndrome that I didn’t even know I was doing, and then also about kind of going beyond doubt with it. This is kind of just another piece of that.

[00:01:35] So, to show up as you, really, you have to recognize that you have value as you. Not as an echo of somebody else’s work, which I did for so many years. Not as someone that you pretend to be, or pretend to be to fit in, but you. You have value as you. Ah, right?

[00:02:03] How do you show up as you? I get that we can start choosing to show up as us even if we don’t have, say, crushed imposter syndrome just yet. Maybe we’re still operating it from bits and pieces or maybe a lot, it doesn’t matter, but we can still choose to show up as us. What it takes, in my experience, is recognizing when you’re not. Recognizing when you’re choosing to show up as someone else, or show up in a way that you fit in, or show up in a way that makes other people happy.

[00:02:37] It was a big one for me, I would say, probably my entire life. My value that I’d put on myself and others had put on around me was making sure other people were happy. That was where my value was. So, it wasn’t actually a value. That’s no value of me. That’s a value of something that I can do, and I can do it very well. Let me tell you, oh my gosh. I could have awards in it as probably many of you could also, and that’s not showing up as me. That’s showing up as how someone else would like me to be, or act, or do, or whatever it is.

[00:03:14] First step is to really start looking at where are you not doing that? Be aware of that. When you walk into a room and you maybe weren’t just feeling 100% bubbly, but you walk in and you just put that face on like, “Oh my gosh, everything’s amazing, everything’s perfect,” it’s like, that’s not you. That’s your being something for somebody else.

[00:03:36] Now, maybe in some situations, that’s appropriate and possibly not. You really have to look at that for you. Look at where you’re not being you.

[00:03:46] Do I mean you should walk into a group of people and be like, “Oh, everything’s horrible and all is awful and the world is coming to an end.”? I’m not sure that’s you either. You might though be in that space and that’s also okay. That’s also okay. In that case, you might actually, if you were choosing for you, you might not even go to that thing, that event, that group thing.

[00:04:07] I mean, I’m talking very generally so you really need to look at it for you. Really need to look at all the different pieces and parts for you, but that is where you want to start. Start calling yourself out. Just you personally, you don’t need to announce it, but call yourself out when you’re not choosing that, when you’re not being you.

[00:04:26] You don’t even have to change it. This is the thing, guys, that I have found to be the most helpful is I let myself off the hook. I can acknowledge I’m not being me but I don’t have to do anything about it. If I want to, I can, but I do not have to. This has been such a game changer because then I’m more apt to call myself out on it. I’m more willing to say what I’m choosing or acknowledge what I’m choosing when I also don’t have to change it.

[00:04:57] Be like, “Wow, I’m really choosing to be somebody else here. Okay, cool,” and then I could change it or not. That becomes the choice, but it’s not relevant. That is, I would say, step number two, in a sense. Not that I’ve thought of these as steps, but that’s the way I’m speaking to them. Acknowledge when you’re on it, and don’t force yourself to change it.

[00:05:16] For some of it, there might be an awareness of what that is. Maybe every time you get together with a certain friend group, you choose not to be you. There might be some information in that. There might be some awareness in there for you. It’s not right or wrong, you know?

[00:05:34] As you guys know, if you’ve been around here for a while, we’ve been house and pet sitting around Canada and the US for many months now, like, July, August, September, October, November. Five months now. I can’t believe it’s been that long. We are loving it.

[00:05:48] But one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I will not be all of me when we are in, say, the interview process. The way that it works with Trusted House Sitters — if anybody’s interested, reach out. I’ve got a link. It will save you, I think it’s 25%, and I also get a couple months free if you use it.

[00:06:08] So, you apply for a sit you’re interested in, and then we invite them to do a Zoom. I always invite them to do a Zoom. I just find it easier if we get to meet face to face. And so then I will find that often on those Zooms, I’m not 100% me. I’m more aware of what they would like so we can get the sit. But do I really want to get a sit that I can’t be me on?

[00:06:31] Of course, in the sit process, they maybe introduce us to the animals and the house and in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and then they’re gone. We’re not with them for the sit, but it’s still a funny energy. I’m still aware of it when I’m choosing it.

[00:06:45] We actually had two different things come up this week with people that we’ve applied for sits. In both cases, I was like, if I wasn’t choosing for me, I would actually say yes to this. One, I recognized it, and two, I was willing to change it. It’s like, no, actually, I don’t need to be something different. If they don’t like it, it’s actually okay.

[00:07:12] Yeah, that’s a big part of it for me. It’s like it’s okay if they don’t like it or if they don’t like me. Usually, I’m silly enough to make it personal. It’s crazy, right? “They don’t like me.” It’s not about that.

[00:07:24] But I was willing – I was willing to acknowledge it, I was willing to choose different, and I was willing to voice it, which I’m just so proud of because It changes so much. It changes so much. Now, I will be even more willing to be me in those sorts of situations.

[00:07:42] Look at that for yourself. Look at when you’re not being all of you, when you are choosing for other people or to make other people happy, or all of that insanity, and then look at, “Okay, what would I actually like here? What would I actually like here?”

[00:07:59] I mean, I’ve always had such great adoration and respect for people who are willing to just be honest with what works for them and what doesn’t work for them in situations because, again, I tended to more often just to be aware of what the other person wanted and say that’s what I wanted, and then be upset and resentful and all the crazy-judgy of me, judgy of them sometimes.

[00:08:24] The willingness to be me and say yes or no in situations without adding any story to it, it’s a huge part. It’s a huge part. It’s a huge part to then being willing to be more of me in every situation.

[00:08:39] These are something, kind of like a job interview, right? We’re in a job interview, and being willing to say what works for me or doesn’t work for me, you might not get that job. It’s funny that that’s more valuable. Being the chosen one is more valuable than actually being the choosing one.

[00:09:03] Partly my willingness to say no in these situations was recognizing how much fun it isn’t when I choose something that I know is a no for me. And then it’s not fun, and then I’m cranky, and all the things.

[00:09:20] You can apply this in any area of your life, of course. A lot of times we talk about this from a business standpoint, because we look at, say, our potential clients, our potential customers, as they are everything, right? There’s a saying that the customer’s always right. Is that actually true? No. Sometimes, absolutely.

[00:09:42] We had bought some shirts here for Hubby at Macy’s and I washed them. I washed them because I said to him, “You know what? I’m not sure you’ll follow the instructions so I’m going to do it” as we spent enough money on them. They’re beautiful shirts. I washed them as per instructed and they still shrunk.

[00:10:01] They were a Columbia shirt, so I actually talked to Columbia first. I’ve never done this sort of thing before, but it was like, “No, actually, this is not okay.” I talked to Columbia first. They said we need to take them back to Macy’s.

[00:10:13] Right on Macy’s receipt, it says if they’re worn, [they’re] not taking them back. But I’m like, all right. We went back and they took them back. She pointed out that this was a return policy. They weren’t taking them back, but they would do that.

[00:10:29] In that case, it wasn’t necessarily right. The woman that was assisting us was probably just aware that we had only had them for a few days and all the things. It wasn’t like we had them for six months and he wore them and then we were just tired of them. It was just a couple days.

[00:10:48] Anyway, so that’s one case. But let’s say it had been six months and we took them back and there’d been lots of use on them. Then I’m not right. Again, not that it’s about being right or wrong. That saying can really trip us up as business owners because if the customer is always right, then we are being the chosen one. We’re not being the choosing one.

[00:11:12] There’s been times where I’ve actually fought in terms of, say, a PayPal refund. I’ve actually fought it and said no. They got what they asked for, here’s how it’s all set out, all the pieces. I’ve actually won some of them. Some I didn’t.

[00:11:27] In those cases, it’s okay to be you, to look at what works for you, and also be willing to “lose” those clients and customers that don’t actually contribute or that wouldn’t maybe be fun to continue to play with. That’s something that a lot of times we just don’t look at as business owners. And so we’re not being all of us because we want the client, we want to make sure they’re happy, we don’t want bad reviews, all of this insanity.

[00:12:00] So, lots of things for you to think about. Again, come and join us for the 5-week Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can feel confident and successful in your business and your life. If you didn’t get the free call, you can go and download it again. If you don’t see any of the links, reach out and I will get them for you.

[00:12:18] Have a fabulous week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

Is It Doubt?

Nov 5, 2023 | Radio Show

Is It Doubt?

I wonder…

Is it really doubt, or is there something else going on? Tune in to this episode to find out what might actually be occurring when you’re spinning in doubt through this week’s magical tips and tricks that I’ll be sharing. I wonder what else is possible now?

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] What if it isn’t actually doubt? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. I am so incredibly grateful that you are here, and I’m so incredibly grateful that I’m here.

[00:00:13] This is in the Florida Keys, Islamadora, which I’m not saying correctly, and this is called Drop Anchor. And oh my gosh, our suite is… It’s called a “walkout suite.” You basically just walk out to this and the pool is just over behind that white fence over there. Oh my goodness.

[00:00:38] If you’re listening to this on the podcast, I’m sorry. I know I always talk about it as though everybody’s watching the video. But if you’re ever curious, you can always check it out on YouTube. I also put them of course on Facebook and stuff so you can find them too. The link was probably be above or below. Also, if you can’t find it, let me know.

[00:00:54] So, what if it isn’t doubt? Yes, of course, you’re doubting, but what if that isn’t actually what’s going on? Yeah. So, what if it’s actually imposter syndrome?

[00:01:08] If you missed my show last week, we’ll put a link above or below. Make sure to go check that out. It’s all about my journey with imposter syndrome – what you might be surprised to hear.

[00:01:19] Kind of keeping with that, really looking at the doubt as what if it’s not actually… what if it’s not actually doubt? What if you’re actually feeling like an imposter? And in order to basically distract yourself with that, to not look at that, you’re more looking at the doubt as the problem. But what if it’s actually the imposter syndrome?

[00:01:46] Now, I am doing a free call. It is something about A Tool to Crush Imposter Syndrome – something like that. You’ll find the link above or below as always. If you don’t you see the links, let me know and I will get it for you.

[00:01:59] That will be on November 8th. If you’re listening to this after, you can always just go to the same link and in access the recording of it. And that is an invite into a 5-week program that I’ve got coming up in January.

[00:02:13] Really if you look at that, if you start paying attention to when you’re doubting, what if it’s not that? What if you basically go beyond that doubt, and you look at, “Okay, what’s actually going on here? What is this really?”

[00:02:29] Let’s say you’re doubting. Let’s say you’ve got a new program that you’re going to be putting out in your business, or you’d like to be putting out – sorry, my hair is distracting me. I’m not sure what’s going on. Uhm, squirrel!

[00:02:44] You look at that and you’ve got this new program that you’d like to put out there, but you’re putting it off. You’re not doing it. You’re not taking the steps needed. What is that? And then you go into the doubt of, “Will this really succeed? Could I actually do this? What is actually, you know, I can’t do this,” all the crazy, all the doubt, and you’re spinning in that.

[00:03:04] Get curious about that. Do I feel like an imposter? Do I feel like a fraud? Do I feel like I can’t do this? Do I feel like I’m not qualified to do this?

[00:03:19] Yeah, I’m actually getting rained on. Ha ha! So awesome. I was hoping to get the sunrise in the back because it should be coming up very soon but I think we’re just going to see beautiful clouds.

[00:03:35] So, really looking at that doubting as something more. Go beyond the doubt. Get curious about that.

[00:03:42] If it is imposter syndrome – and now, what is imposter syndrome? It’s basically kind of as it sounds. It’s when you doubt, when you feel like you’re imposter, when you feel like you’re not qualified, that you can’t do it, that other people know more than you, that other people have the information and you don’t. I mean, there’s so many different ways that we can feel like an imposter. There’s so many different ways it can show up.

[00:04:08] For me, a big one was really feeling like all the success that I was having was just luck. I just was lucky to be in that spot. I was lucky because of the hosts. I was lucky, lucky, lucky. That is a huge energy of imposter syndrome that not a lot of people talk about.

[00:04:25] With this, in terms of going beyond the doubt, really getting curious about the doubt, if it is imposter syndrome, what you’re going to have to do is, one, just acknowledge it as that. Like, “Wow, I feel like an imposter. I feel like I don’t have the skills to do this.” Stop.

[00:04:44] Now, maybe there’s some truth to that. Maybe it is something that you require to have more education about or have some training in or something, then that’s fine. Then be honest with yourself about that. Of course, choose that. Go and get that training, whatever it might be.

[00:04:59] If it isn’t though, if it’s just truly imposter syndrome and you are qualified and you do have the skills and you are capable, then start choosing that energy. I know that’s a big ask. I get that. I really, really get that. It’s something you’re going to have to do in order to really go beyond it.

[00:05:20] Now, of course, you can also join the 5-week program that we’ve got coming up in January. But for now, really start looking at what else could you choose in that? How else could you have all of you in what you’re choosing and what you’re creating? Is there another way? Are there other thoughts you could be thinking?

[00:05:48] Because here’s the thing guys, our thoughts, although often we feel like we don’t have a choice with them, they are our choice. Often what happens is we don’t acknowledge that our choices or our thoughts are our choices, so we feel like they’re running us, that we feel like that’s just the way it is. We feel like that’s the thoughts we have to think because they’re there.

[00:06:11] Yes, however, if you are willing to be tenacious, if you’re willing to call yourself out on your bullshit, then every time that thought comes up — “I can’t, I don’t know how, I’m not qualified. Look at that person over there, they know more than I do about this,” stop. Turn it around. How else could you reframe that? Could you say, “Wow…”

[00:06:38] Not necessarily do you have to go to the exact opposite, because I find that doesn’t always work. In fact, I find that becomes where it’s a bit of a struggle within myself of like, “No, you’re not. No, you can’t,” where you’re kind of fighting against yourself.

[00:06:52] Turn it into one of my favorite questions like “I wonder…” I wonder what it would be like to feel confident to share this program. I wonder what it would be like if I did acknowledge the skills that I have with this. Turn it into that wonder because that to me is such a spacious energy rather than the I have the skills to do it. For me, that doesn’t work. If it works for you, that’s awesome. Please do that.

[00:07:16] But for me, I just turn it into a “I wonder” and that changes everything because I wonder, like I wonder what it would be like to feel confident with this. I wonder what it would feel like to truly acknowledge my gifts, my capacities, my skills, my talents. I wonder what that would be like.

[00:07:37] Again, we go back to this tenacity of the, one, catching yourself with those thoughts that are all the imposter syndrome thoughts and turning them, reframing them into something that would actually contribute to you.

[00:07:51] And again, my favorite, I wonder. Like, I wonder what that would be like. I wonder what it would be like to run this program from me, from my voice, from who I am, from what I know to be true. I wonder what that would be like.

[00:08:04] Now, I’m using a lot of words, but when I do it for myself in these situations, what I do is I actually truly wonder. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s an energy. Like, I wonder… I’m saying them quite quickly right now because of the format of this but if I was by myself, I would be doing something like, “I wonder what it would be like to run this program with the confidence that I’m capable… I wonder what that would be like.” and I truly wonder what that would be like. I take some time with that.

[00:08:40] This is not something we want to just give lip service to. This is something that we really want to be wondering about. In the energy of wondering and in the spaciousness of wondering, I’m like, “I wonder what that would be like.”

[00:08:53] Take a moment now, wherever you might have this doubt for yourself. Let’s keep it business related, but it doesn’t have to be. Of course, this could be any area of your life.

[00:09:03] I wonder what it would be like to have the confidence in your business that you never imagined possible. I wonder what that would be like…

[00:09:18] I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not. If you’re being present with this, you might have. In that question, there was like a [exhale].

[00:09:28] This is something that I think is so important for us to recognize. That spaciousness, that going beyond, that is something that you want to do a lot. Now, I find the “I wonder” questions really get me there, but you can just do that. You can just go beyond the limitation.

[00:09:48] This is one of the things that I’ve been using to change things quite quickly is to just energetically, one, recognize where you’re at and go beyond it. That is just the spaciousness of… I mean, I don’t know how else to put it into words, but to recognize where you’re at.

[00:10:09] So, I’ve got this limitation. I’m playing as though I don’t know. I’m pretending, I’m playing in doubt, whatever it is. Get the energy of that, which is usually quite constrictive, and then go beyond it. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:24] If that feels fun for you, it might be something that you want to practice to really get the sense of it, to really get that energy so that you can utilize it, even in the times where you might think it’s too hard to do it.

[00:10:39] Now, another way to kind of go beyond it if energy isn’t your thing, if that feels really confusing or overwhelming, or you just don’t know how, I really like the question of, “If I didn’t choose to feel like an imposter here, what could I choose?”

[00:10:58] Once again, we’re acknowledging what we’re choosing, and then we’re just curious about what’s beyond that. If I didn’t choose this doubt, what could I choose? Hmm. We probably don’t even have words.

[00:11:10] Now, you could kind of do the correct response. “Well, if I didn’t choose doubt, I could choose confidence,” like that sort of thing. But that’s not what we’re looking for. We’re looking again for the spaciousness, the energy of it. You may not have words to respond to that, which is great. You do not never, ever need words. It is often just the energy of it anyway.

[00:11:33] If I didn’t choose to doubt my ability to run a program, what could I choose? If I didn’t doubt myself, what could I choose? If I didn’t act as though I’m a fraud, what could I choose?

[00:11:53] Fraud is a big energy for a lot of people who are playing with imposter syndrome. They often feel like a fraud or they secretly, you know, maybe you don’t say it out loud, but energetically and in your head, there’s a lot of energy of a fraud, “I can’t do this,” and then there’s a lot of comparison also where you’re looking at other people and you’re going, “Well, look how much more brilliant they are. Look at their posts on social media. I mean, they’re way smarter than I am. They know way more about this than I do. They’ve been in business 10 years and I’ve only been in business two years. What do I know?”

[00:12:26] There’s a lot of that energy with the fraud, and that’s just another form of imposter syndrome. If I didn’t choose fraud, what could I choose? If I didn’t distract myself with being a fraud, what could I choose?

[00:12:41] Notice how we’re just acknowledging what is and we’re turning it into a question that opens it up, gives you another possibility. You may not have words for that response, and that’s totally fine. We’re not looking for that. We’re just looking to turn it around.

[00:12:57] There’s a few ways to change that what you might be calling “doubt” and trying to fix as doubt when really, it’s actually just this space of imposter syndrome that once you acknowledge it as such and start changing it, I wonder what magic might be possible then, my sweet friends.

[00:13:17] Once again, we’ve got a free call November 8th. If it’s past November 8th and you’re listening or watching this, then you can go and grab the replay.

[00:13:27] And then in January, we have got the 5-week program to crushing imposter syndrome and truly succeeding in business and life. I’d love to have you come play.

[00:13:40] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

My Journey with Imposter Syndrome

Oct 29, 2023 | Radio Show

My Journey with Imposter Syndrome

Do you have this, too?

When you find yourself doubting your value, or attributing your successes to external factors or even sheer luck over skills, you might be suffering from “imposter syndrome.” Tune in to this episode as I share my own story with imposter syndrome and how I broke free from its reins. Let’s do this, sweet friends!

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] Could you be suffering from imposter syndrome and not even know it? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you.

[00:00:14] We are in Atlanta, Georgia with a sweet little kitty who is actually looking at me through the window wondering what the heck am I doing not petting her, although the first few days she just stayed under the bed. It was kind of hard on us, but she has learned to love us. She’s learned that we love cats. And so, it’s just so much fun.

[00:00:34] All right. Could you be suffering from imposter syndrome and not even know it like I was? I’m not even kidding. I mean… it’s wow. Let’s just say it’s wow. I need to back up a little bit.

[00:00:47] Many of you know, if you’ve been around here for a while, you know that for 11 years, I was part of Access Consciousness. I was a Certified Facilitator. I facilitated many of the classes. And then in September of 2022, one of the facilitators of the Certified Facilitator T raining made a choice in that class that went against everything that I know consciousness to be.

[00:01:17] We’ll put a link below if we can find a video from Lauren Marie about what went on. I don’t really want to get into that. I don’t want to make this about that. I just need to share that so that you can kind of follow along in my journey with finally figuring out how much imposter syndrome I was living.

[00:01:36] That occurred in September of 2022. Once that occurred, I had to look at for myself what was really going on that I’d spent 11 years in this company? Because this was not the first time where what I saw from the leaders didn’t align with what I would say consciousness would be. Nothing as drastic as this last one, this was the one that it took for me to choose more for myself.

[00:02:11] But prior to that, there was bits and pieces and things and all the way back to my very first CF training in 2012. There were things that went on that I went, hmm. I was able to justify and reason it all. I’m not proud of it, but I was able to.

[00:02:28] As I started looking over this last year of, what the heck? Like, what the heck kept me in an organization where this went on?

[00:02:39] One, saying one thing, doing another. I myself, you know, just again, personally, never felt seen or heard or celebrated. You know, there’s these memes and quotes that go around about hang out with people who celebrate you and want you to be there and. Yeah, 11 years of never choosing that. Interesting. I’m so grateful I have changed that.

[00:03:00] However, again, that’s all my stuff. This is nothing against what other people have chose or are choosing. Just an idea of where I’m coming from with this.

[00:03:10] When I really looked at that, what I got to is that I was being an echo. There’s a famous quote by Albert Einstein about “Be a voice, not an echo,” and I was being an echo. For 11 years, I was being an echo for Access Consciousness. Before that, it was theta healing. Before that, it was, it was, it was. I mean, all my 20+ years in business, I have been an echo.

[00:03:38] Now, no big deal, except what is that, really? When I had to get honest with myself about what that was really, that’s where this showed up. Truly, this level of imposter syndrome.

[00:03:55] If I was echoing somebody else’s work, well, then it’s perfect because it’s not me being out there. Now, was I me in my business? In many ways, of course I was, and I was still operating from this imposter syndrome.

[00:04:11] I was still operating from choosing to be part of an organization that didn’t align with my values. Didn’t align with what I know to be true in terms of consciousness and in terms of changing the world. All of those things. I chose that based on this imposter syndrome.

[00:04:30] Once I got the energy of that, holy… that has changed so much for me. I am so incredibly grateful that, one, I was willing to really, really look at it and not just make Access wrong or go down that rabbit hole because it’s not going to change anything for me personally. I’m just going to find another modality to glom on to, to be an echo.

[00:04:52] For any of you that are choosing modalities, whether you’re in Access or something else or doing other modalities, please know this is not a slight against you. This is my own journey and where I’ve come to with it and really had to look at what’s true for me.

[00:05:06] What’s true for me is that I would so much rather be a voice. I would so much rather be a voice that shares my values and shares what I know to be true with regards to consciousness and all of that, rather than the echo. I had to choose beyond. I had to really crush this imposter syndrome.

[00:05:28] I say it specifically like that because I actually have a training coming up on it on November 8th of 2023. If you’re watching or listening later, you can grab the replay. We’ll have the link above or below to sign up for the free webinar where I’m going to talk about a key that you can use to crush imposter syndrome.

[00:05:48] That will be an invite to a 5-week program that I have coming up in January all about stopping doubt. Yes, and really crushing imposter syndrome so you can actually create and live a magical, successful business and life.

[00:06:09] We could look at my past and go, “But Glenyce, you’ve been very successful.” I have been. Absolutely. I’m not downplaying that at all. I’ve been very successful at being an echo. I’m really changing that. I’m really ready to be that voice, but it took me going really beyond and stopping the imposter syndrome, stopping that doubt, stopping that, “Oh, what would so-and-so say?” No. What do I know? What do I know to be true for me, and allowing that to be what is.

[00:06:45] It’s just a whole other level of – self awareness because truly, again, if you would have asked me if I had impostor syndrome, I would have said, “No way. That is just not something that I have ever dealt with.” Um, alright. Crazy much? It’s everything that I was dealing with and I never actually knew it.

[00:07:06] It did. It just took me, one, going through that, you know… I was going to say horrible experience, but I was watching the experience. But it really dismantled everything for me, which I’m grateful for now. How often when we go through something that doesn’t feel so fun to go through and at the time it’s like, “Oh, this is the worst thing ever,” and then after it’s like, “Oh, thank goodness.”?

[00:07:29] I mean it wasn’t the worst thing ever because it wasn’t me that was getting cursed. But by watching it and really having to look at that for myself and really look at, “Do I want to be part of an organization that curses people when they choose something different?” Ooh. No, actually. And then, I had to unravel and really unravel it all and really look at what is actually true for me and what kept me there for so long. That’s where the imposter syndrome [is].

[00:08:04] Imposter syndrome – there’s so many different levels of it, so many different ways it can show up and keep it hidden. For some people, it can look like they feel just lucky.

[00:08:15] I know this in probably back in 2014 to 2016, somewhere around there. I was having huge successes within my business and being invited around the world. It continued, I don’t mean it just ended in 2016, but those were the really big years for me in terms of traveling and getting to meet lots of you and really, really sharing the tools of Access Consciousness around the world.

[00:08:43] If you would have asked me — no, I still wouldn’t have told you, but privately, in my own head, I never said a word out loud — I would have told you I’m just lucky. Yeah, I’m just lucky. That’s all it is. I’m just lucky. It was my host. It was my host. They did it. Like, there was no honoring of me in that and honoring my value in that.

[00:09:08] That is one huge piece of imposter syndrome that most people don’t even know is the “I’m just lucky. I just lucked out. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. This thing just happened to me or for me, that’s why…” Oh my gosh. No. We are the magic in our lives. We know that.

[00:09:30] Well, we say that. I’m gonna use myself. I said that for years and years, but it wasn’t until I really started looking at it, I really started getting present with it, and really acknowledging.

[00:09:42] Yes, I had amazing hosts. Yes, there were so many pieces. And also, I’m freaking magical. I’m honoring that and valuing that more than ever before.

[00:09:55] Am I 100 percent where I’d like to be? No. Am I getting there every day more and more? Absolutely. Absolutely. Part of that for me was really, really stepping away from the echo and into having my own voice and sharing my own voice and knowing that I have value. I have so much value beyond the certifications, beyond the crazy, beyond the “all the.”

[00:10:23] I am valuable. No matter what, whether I use my voice or not. My value isn’t dependent on anything. I get to be valuable to me. That’s the only person that can matter to.

[00:10:38] It’s really recognizing that and knowing that a lot of the stuff that you’re possibly dealing with in business – the struggles, the upsets, the setbacks, the missing possibilities, the loss of profits that are possible, all the things – could be, I’m not saying they are, but they could be imposter syndrome and how it’s playing out for you and how it’s showing up for you. Possibly you’re like me and completely oblivious to it until now. Yeah.

[00:11:10] It’s truly just been in the last little bit that I’ve really looked at that and really got present with it and, yeah, chose to really change it.

[00:11:20] And then, of course, as I always do, invite you along with me if you would like to come. Again, the free training is on November 8th, all about a key to crush imposter syndrome.

[00:11:33] And then there is the invite to the 5-week program that will start in January. A s part of the training , if you choose to be part of that, you’ll also get a special coupon discount for that too.

[00:11:45] If you might be interested in the 5-week program, make sure you get into either be on my email list or hop into the training. And also, the training will give you more information about the program too, so that you can know if it’s a fit for you. There will be a discount code for those of you that are part of that.

[00:12:02] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

Stuck in Wrongness?

Oct 22, 2023 | Radio Show

Stuck in Wrongness?

What’s required to change this?

We can be very aware of other people to the point that we might take on whatever they’re going through as ours. And when it doesn’t work out for us, down we go the rabbit hole of judging ourselves. That, my sweet friends, is where the problem starts. If you’ve ever found yourself in that situation, tune in to this episode as I share some magic tricks and tips to get you out of the wrongness and all that insanity.

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] Is this cold really mine? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you.

[00:00:12] If you’re watching this on video, I am in a swimming pool. I’ll be honest though, it’s cold. I know I always talked about cold pools, I loved my pool cold. Maybe it’s been a while since I’ve been in one, I’m not sure, but this one is really cold. But for the sake of the video, I’m gonna hang out in here.

[00:00:31] Plus, it is very nice out here. I am in Sandy Hill, Georgia which is, I would say, maybe a suburb of Atlanta, uh, but very close to Atlanta, Georgia. I have never been to Georgia before. It’s beautiful. Oh my gosh.

[00:00:44] We’ve got two sweet little puppies here and a kitty, and the kitty has a GPS tracker so it’s so cool to be able to see exactly where he is when he’s out gallivanting.

[00:00:55] So, is this cold really mine? I have had a cold this past week and as you may know, the last few weeks I’ve been talking about different tools that I’ve shared over the years that I’m maybe looking at a little bit differently now. I wouldn’t say that this is new. This isn’t new for me to look at this tool differently. This is something that I’ve always, been aware of, I would say, with this tool.

[00:01:21] And so, the concept is that we are aware of the things that are going on within our body and they’re possibly not ours, meaning we’re taking them on where maybe I was aware of somebody else’s cold, and I took it on. I’m not saying that that’s not possible.

[00:01:39] The reason that I’m sharing maybe the way that I see things now differently than I used to or have talked about in the past is really for you to look at these things for yourself. This is not about saying my way is the right way and the other way is the wrong way. That is not what this is about at all. This is just an invitation to go into what you may know to be true for you or to look at things that maybe you never considered before.

[00:02:10] This tool, you can use in lots of different ways, of course. Physical stuff – yes. Also, like, mental and emotional stuff.

[00:02:18] I would say for myself personally, let’s say I’m angry for no reason. I just wake up cranky or something like that, then the tool of “Who does this belong to? Return to sender with consciousness,” absolutely. That is a great tool for me in those situations.

[00:02:36] But for physical things, I just haven’t had the same, I’m gonna say, success with that. I find, especially in the years of facilitating people and working with people, a lot of times, there’s more to it.

[00:02:52] We maybe really simplify – this oversimplification that I’ve talked about before. We oversimplify it. We go, “Okay, well, I woke up with a cold. I’m just gonna return to sender with consciousness and be done with it.”

[00:03:07] And then when it doesn’t go away, that’s when the problem starts because then we’re judging ourselves. We’re in the wrongness of us. How did I do that wrong? What [or] how did I say it wrong? Am I not actually returning it to sender properly?

[00:03:21] We go into all this insanity instead of just recognizing that possibly, yeah, maybe you were aware of it and maybe you did take it on, and maybe there is something more with the changing of it. Maybe there’s other action that’s required. Maybe your body — in my case, maybe my body was just saying, “Hey, can we just have a little rest please?”

[00:03:44] And with other things, I’ve seen people with, say, extra weight, as I’ve talked about over the years with myself, just to oversimplify by saying, “I shall return it to sender with consciousness and it will go away.” [It] hasn’t been my experience. It really hasn’t.

[00:04:02] Oh, there’s so many leaves falling. I’m not sure if you guys can see any of them. There’s many in the pool with me now.

[00:04:08] And so this idea that that’s it is what can really trip us up because then, again, as I said, we go into the wrongness. We try to figure out how we need to say it right, the right way so it works, and just all of this insanity, instead of just recognizing that, yeah, okay, if that tool — if you’re like, “Okay, you know what? I know that I’ve picked up somebody else’s cold or I’ve picked up somebody else’s cranky or whatever it is, then, okay, what’s actually required to change it?”

[00:04:41] Now, a cold might be a little bit different than cranky. Cranky you can shift, possibly, fairly quickly. [It] doesn’t mean you always can, but possibly. A cold may not be.

[00:04:53] I have never experienced one person that I’ve ever seen use this tool be able to shift a physical thing like cold or flu or diabetes or cancer or heart problems or anything like that in an instant. Now, I don’t want to say that’s not possible because I live in the world of true possibilities, and it often isn’t the way that it shows up. There may be something else.

[00:05:21] I’ve worked with a lot of people with terminal illnesses. Maybe “terminal” is not the right word. Potentially terminal, let’s say. Those people often have an awareness of, “Wow, you know what? When I wasn’t sick, there was all of this maybe significance put on my work or my kids” or whatever. By getting sick, they had more information and they started looking at their life differently, and they shifted things and changed things. They received more from that illness in a way that wasn’t necessarily about returning it to sender.

[00:06:04] Again, I just really want to get us — I guess that would be my ask for all of us is to really step away from the oversimplification. If you’ve watched my past few videos, I believe that’s probably the word that I’ve used more than any other word is this idea of oversimplification with it all.

[00:06:26] If you’ve had something physical, or maybe even mental or emotional, that didn’t shift with that, and you’ve spent time in the judgment of you because it didn’t shift, what you might want to look at, as I throw the leaves around, is what actions required to change that thing? It possibly isn’t just one action. There’s possibly many actions for you to take to really start and shift and change it.

[00:06:56] For myself with the cold, it wasn’t so much of how can I make it go away. Well, in a way I guess, it was how can I make the symptoms go away because I I had some fun things planned this week in Chicago.

[00:07:12] As some of you might know, I was at a Mastermind for Shopify this week. I didn’t want to be offensive to other people with sneezing and snotting all over. You know, that sort of thing. But also, I wanted to be able to be present with all the fun activities we had with that. That’s what I looked at – what was required to shift the symptoms that would have created more of a distraction, let’s say.

[00:07:44] For me, that was just over the counter medication. It was quite simple with regards to that. That was an action that I took, and I took it a few times a day. Of course I got as much rest as I could in between and the water. All the other pieces to it, of course. For me with the cold, I mean, fairly simple. I took some over the counter medication.

[00:08:07] With other things, there are other possibilities with that. If you’ve got, whatever it is, maybe diabetes or heart disease or depression or those sorts of things, the other actions, of course, is medical. I know often we have this idea that medical is wrong and not medical is right. What if we don’t?

[00:08:30] Now, some of you know my background is psychiatric nursing. I took a couple of years training and I see how the two go together. Now, I would never want to do a hundred percent medical. If I got colds all the time, then yeah, I would maybe look at that a little bit more. But with a one off cold — that’s, I think, the first one since a year ago — I’m just going to take some over the counter medication and carry on with life.

[00:08:59] But with other things, it’s really just getting that energy of what else is required to change it. Looking at what I would call “the logical and the woo,” a mix of logic and woo.

[00:09:15] If you’ve got heart things going on, I mean if it was me, then I would definitely be working with doctors who know that specialty. And then also, what else? Maybe your body loves acupuncture or you love going to reflexology or different things like that. Then mixing the two together from that place of what is it going to take to change this? What is actually required?

[00:09:43] Now yes, recognizing that we can absolutely — at least this is my take on it, we absolutely are aware of other people’s stuff. We absolutely can take on their pain and suffering and mental, emotional, all of that. To change it, [there] may be more required. Let’s not oversimplify anymore. Let’s look at what’s actually required to change it so that you can be taking action.

[00:10:10] In my experience, anytime we’re taking action to change something, that’s where the magic is. It’s when we’re not taking the action to change it, that’s where we have so much more room for the judgment, the wrongness, the doubt, all of that insanity.

[00:10:27] So, Sessions are still on sale, guys. You’ve still got my shop to go check out. Links are below. If you don’t see them below, then just reach out and I’ll get them for you. Have a great week. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

What About Manifestation?

Oct 15, 2023 | Radio Show

What About Manifestation?

What does it actually take?

When we hear the word “manifest,” we often think about sitting around, wishing for something we would like and — poof! The thing just magically shows up. It’s possible, but we can’t always be that lucky, sweet friends. Tune in to this week’s episode as we talk about manifestation and what it truly takes to “manifest” and “actualize” everything we desire.

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] What about manifestation? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. I have been doing podcasts — I think this is my third podcast — with things that I know for sure. Things that are true for me. This is not a show so that you change your way. You get to look at things for you. This is what these shows are about, really – to invite you to look at what’s true for you.

[00:00:24] If you’re watching the video, and even if you’re listening to the audio, you might hear them. These are the Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis. Yeah, we’re seeing all sorts of cool things on our adventures. You can follow along the adventures on basically my Facebook page, my personal one. Sometimes, I put things on the business one or my Instagram. I’ve got @glenycehughes, I also have @toolstocreateabetterlife. Come and play.

[00:00:51] So, what about manifestations? You’ve probably heard me — if you’ve been around, you’ve heard me talk for years about changing the word “manifestation’ to the word “actualize” based on the meaning of the word if you were to look up the definition.

[00:01:07] Now, I have to say for myself personally, I do love the energy of the word “manifestation.” I really love that. I’ve even had programs over the years that I’ve used the word “manifestation.” I have one that has been, I think I’ve had it for a few years now. It’s called “Manifest Your Money Goal Toolkit.” There’s a whole bunch of different products and ways to assist you to manifest your money goal.

[00:01:31] I love the word. For me, I’m actually going back to that word. I will still use the word “actualize.” I get the energy of that also, but I love the word “manifest.”

[00:01:44] Now, I want to talk about that for a moment. A lot of times with manifest or manifestation, what people are doing is something that we call “magical thinking.” That is not what I’m talking about when I talk about manifestation. It’s really, to me, important to recognize that manifestation is, to me, it’s a couple things. It’s choosing. It’s taking action. It’s acknowledging what is.

[00:02:14] If that sounds interesting to you, you might want to listen to the show about… gosh, what is it titled? I don’t recall. It was last week that I did it. We’ll put a link to it above or below so that you can check it out where I talked about choice. That’s what it is. It’s about choice and it’ll assist you more with that.

[00:02:34] From the energy of manifestation, it really is this space of all the things. It’s not the, “I’m going to sit on the couch and ask for money and it’s going to show up.” Now, some people may be able to do that. That’s awesome. But for the rest of us, there’s action that’s involved.

[00:02:51] For those people like myself, I can actually wake up to money in my bank account, and there was action to take to create that. I had to create the things to sell. I had to create some sort of, in a sense, a presence so that people could see my stuff and get on, say, my email list or see me on social media – all of those things. Yes, we could say we could make money while we sleep, but also, there was action involved.

[00:03:17] When you look at manifest or actualization or whatever you want to call it, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at it from what it actually takes. No more of the magical thinking, no more of the, “I’m just going to say these affirmations,” or “I’m just going to run these clearings,” “I’m just going to do this thing,” or “I’m just going to sit on my couch.” No, stop it. Now, what? What’s required? What is the action that’s required? Yeah, yeah.

[00:03:50] Often when you hear people say, “Oh, I manifested a red sports car,” that’s been my example for years. It’s a red sports car. I don’t have a desire for a red sports car, but anyway, I’ve talked about it for years. “I’m going to manifest a red sports car,” and then they have a red sports car.

[00:04:05] It often is this idea that, “Wow, they asked for it. They sat on the couch and thought about it and that’s how it showed up.” And yet, if you were to ask those people, ‘What was actually required?” Probably some steps, definitely some action. Maybe it just took from going to the car dealer and checking it out, or the bank to get a loan, or whatever it is. There was still action.

[00:04:31] This magical thinking is where I see so many of us, because I’ve done it myself, time and time again, of really putting my energy into the idea that it will show up without me doing anything and that’s how I prove I’m magical. No, guys. No. Please stop that. Please stop that. You be magic. You don’t need to prove it at all. You just be it.

[00:04:59] Now, if you’d like to manifest some things, then what’s required? What are the steps? A mix of that is also with being truthful of what is. You know?

[00:05:10] Again, I’m going to refer you to my radio show that I did last week about choice. I talk in there about acknowledging what is because it’s really easy to say, “Oh, you just ask for more money, and then you think about more money, and then more money shows up.” No. For many, many, many people on the planet, that’s not it. There is a level of honesty of what is and what’s required.

[00:05:38] I’m not saying that they can’t have money. That’s not what I’m saying at all. There may be just the honouring of what is, the acknowledgement of what is, and looking at what other choices might be required for them to manifest what they’re asking for.

[00:05:51] When you’re watching social media and you’re maybe watching people talk about what they manifested and how easy it was and how magical it was, really get present with that for yourself. Check in how much you might be adding a story to that, or how much they’ve added a story to it.

[00:06:14] I know, right? We want to believe that people can sit and wish for a red sports car and have it show up in their driveway. That’s a really cool idea. And yet, what is required? I’ll tell you what. You’re going to get so much more of what you’re asking for when you get real with what is, when you get present with what is, and when you look at what’s actually required for you to, to actualize that.

[00:06:46] For me, Hubby and I — I was going to say Rodney, oh my gosh, his real name. So, Hubby — Rodney — and I are in the USA. We’re both Canadians, rodney’s also British. We can actually get into the US very easily. It took three minutes at the border. They had a couple of questions. Did we have fruit with us? I don’t even know what else they asked but it was very basic. For us coming here to hang out for three months, that was total ease for us. That’s not the way it is for everybody.

[00:07:20] This is what I talk about when I talk about acknowledging what is. There’s countries that maybe can’t even get into the US. I don’t have enough information about this, I’m just guessing. There’s countries that would require visas or vice versa, coming to or going to Canada, since I’m not there now. For a lot of people, there’s a lot of things.

[00:07:37] So, let’s acknowledge what is. Let’s ask for what we would like. Let’s look at what the choices are that are required to actualize that, to manifest that. It all brings me back to acknowledging what is for you, really getting present with what is for you, what is true for you.

[00:07:58] There’s been a lot of people in my classes over the years, when I talked about the word “manifest” and start using “actualize,” they would say, “Hey, you know what? I really liked the word ‘manifest.'” I’m so grateful that people were willing and are willing, and I’m willing to really look at what is for ourselves.

[00:08:16] I mean, this can relate to anything, honestly. This doesn’t have to be just about a word. This can be so many different areas of our life and our living that we’re pretending, or we’re trying to do it a certain way, or we’re trying to do it the right way. Oh my gosh, let’s get over that, my sweet friends. Let’s get back into this space of, “What is our way? What actually works for us? What is true for us?”

[00:08:40] As I said, the word “manifest” has such yummy energies to me. I never really stopped using it. I did a little bit. Now, for me… that’s something I’m aware of now for me. What might that be for you? It may not be words. It might be things you choose or whatever it is. But just start with what is true for you? What is your space of what you know to be true? And how can you be that on the planet?

[00:09:12] As I’ve been putting these shows out there, I’ve got so much feedback about how many people are just so grateful for me sharing what is true for me. Not from the place of now they know what’s true for them, but it gets them looking at it or they’ve already knew it, but maybe they weren’t really putting words to it. They weren’t articulating it. Now, they’ve got that more space to do that.

[00:09:37] It’s a different space of being. It’s truly being us. It’s truly being us, knowing what is true for us, without the idea that somebody or something knows more than us, knows better than us, has more awareness of us for us. Some people have more information in certain areas, of course. I would never pretend to be a doctor. That would be ridiculous. They have more information, but they don’t know my body more than I know my body. Right?

[00:10:08] If you look at that, look at maybe over the years, if you have examples in your life of where you’ve given up your power, where you’ve handed over what you knew because of, whatever, somebody knew better, somebody said they knew better, you put somebody on a pedestal. That’s a big one for so many of us, you know?

[00:10:26] Somebody does have more information, so instead of just going, “Wow, they have more information. Cool,” we go, “Wow, they have more information. They must know everything! They must be brilliant! They must…” blah, blah, blah, instead of like, “Okay, they have more information. What do I know here? What’s true for me here?”

[00:10:44] The thing that I know for sure, and this is kind of funny, is the older I get — and I don’t mean that as derogatory. I just mean the older I get, the more that I know that what I know for me doesn’t have to fit for anybody else. It doesn’t have to make sense for anybody else.

[00:11:03] There would have been a time, I mean, that I would have never even been willing to have that conversation or awareness with myself. I’ve been so focused on what other people needed or wanted or believed and what was true for them, rather than, “Hey, what is it for me? What do I know for me with that?” They’re totally different states. Yeah.

[00:11:23] So, have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.