A Weird Question to Increase Your Confidence

Dec 17, 2023 | Radio Show

A Weird Question to Increase Your Confidence

Will you ask this?

Are you struggling with lack of confidence? Spinning in doubt? This weird question might help you out! In this week’s episode, I will be sharing this tool that helped increase my confidence, as well as more magical tips and tricks you can use to be confident as f*ck.

If you liked this episode, you can now show some love (and support the radio show at the same time!) by Buying Me a Coffee ☕ How does it get any better than that?! I’m excited and would be so grateful to receive a cup of coffee from you, my sweet friend.

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RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
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[00:00:00] Would you like a weird question to ask to increase your confidence? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you. Truly, truly grateful.

[00:00:17] I know some of you have been listening for years and years, and I just want to send a big hug to all of you, whether it’s years and years, or this is the first one, or whatever it may be, I’m just so incredibly grateful.

[00:00:30] So, a weird question to ask to boost your confidence, and this is actually Noah St. John’s. He came up with this idea of “afformations” instead of affirmations, and I have always loved them.

[00:00:50] Now, if you have been a long time listener, you might have heard me speak with Noah St. John back in July of 2013. Yeah, over 10 years ago. Holy. That was one of my very first podcasts that I did. I invited him on the show. I was shocked when he said yes, and I’m just so grateful.

[00:01:13] So, afformations are turning something into a question, and it’s got an energy of an affirmation, you know? An affirmation is something we usually state as something we would like. “I am toned and sexy,” or something like that. What Noah St. John has found to be way more effective, myself included, is to turn it into a question.

[00:01:42] Because what happens is our brain is always searching for the questions that we ask. Always. It’s just unfortunate because most times we’re asking questions that we don’t want answered.

“Why am I not toned?”

“Why am I not sexy?”

Those are not questions you want your brain to be putting energy into figuring out, my sweet friends. Let’s ask the questions we would like.

[00:02:06] Here’s the question that I want to give you that’s from the whole title of this, right? The question to be confident as fuck. “Why am I always so confident?”

Why am I always so confident?

Why is confidence so easy for me?

Why do I always feel so confident in every situation?

[00:02:27] You get the idea? Now, notice that. Okay, let’s do this and do this with me.

I am confident. I am confident.

Now for me, there’s a little bit of an expansion with that, absolutely, but it comes back down. There’s an expansion and then it clunks in again.

[00:02:49] Try this: “Why am I always so confident?”

That to me, there’s such an expansiveness. It’s such a lightness. It always makes me giggle. “Why am I always so confident?” Or, of course, if you like my terminology, “Why am I always confident as fuck?” because I love that.

[00:03:10] Oh, I just had a woman today. I’m just in a different online class today. I’m attending it and I was just sharing the title of my course and she said, “I don’t know what ‘AF’ is. Would the people who would be taking the course know what it is?” I’m like, “Yep, they sure would.”

[00:03:33] So AF – Confident as Fuck. This is also an invitation, guys. Come and play. We’ve got the “Confident as Fuck: 5 Weeks to Crusing Imposter Syndrome and Truly Succeeding in Business and Life.” Come and play. We’ll start in January. Of course, if you’re listening to this later or watching this later, however you’re consuming this, it’ll be recorded also. So, check it out.

[00:04:00] But that’s really what we’re looking for is that turning it into an afformation. For me, it gives it this lightness. It gives us this expansiveness.

[00:04:09] I’m now giving my brain something to do. Something to figure out why am I always confident as fuck, where we will start receiving the evidence continuously, because that’s what we’re asking for. Our brain will constantly find the answers.

[00:04:26] So, let’s start asking the questions that we would like answered. Why am I always so confident as fuck? Why is confidence so easy for me? Why does confidence come so naturally for me?

[00:04:40] Now, one of the bonuses for the Confident as Fuck program is the list of the top ten of the doubts or the limitations that we have with this sort of stuff and how to turn those into affirmation. If that’s something you’d like, go check out the bonuses.

[00:04:57] There’s another really cool one. It’s a whole calendar for every day in 2024. There’s an actionable step to build your confidence. And then of course, there is a Confident as Fuck energetic exercise. Go check those all out.

[00:05:11] But is really what we want to be doing, is turning these things into questions so that we are actually putting our creative energy into what we would like, which in this case is being more confident.

[00:05:25] So, again, noticing that when we state, “I am confident,” not as much energy, at least not for me, as to, “Why am I always so confident? Why is confidence so easy for me?” I just love the energy of those.

[00:05:42] When we’re looking at building something, in this case, building confidence, this is not something you do once and expect it to change everything dynamically 100%. I’m not saying it can’t, it’s just if you’ve struggled with doubt, if you’ve struggled with lack of confidence, chances are you have asked certain questions that you probably didn’t want answers to for years and years and years. It will take some time to shift it. I don’t mean it will take years and years and years. I just mean it’s going to take some time.

[00:06:19] You could even be writing down some afformations so that when you are spinning in the doubt, spinning in the frustration, spinning in the unworthiness, the lack of, you’ve got some go to’s right there. You don’t have to, in that heavy energy, try to figure out what an afformation is because sometimes that heavy energy is going to contribute to us staying in that heavy energy. Having some on hand, maybe a note on your phone or something like that, is a great idea.

[00:06:49] It can be just simple where you could just basically do the opposite. If you’re asking, “Why am I failing in business?,” [then] “Why am I succeeding in business? Why is business success so natural for me?” We could just, you know, take it to the complete opposite.

[00:07:07] It kind of is going to depend how far down the rabbit hole you are with the spinning in the doubt and the limitations to know if you can shift it on your own, or if you’re going to maybe need kind of an outside resource or something like that, but it’ll just give you that idea that, you know, there is a way to shift it. There is a way to change it in that moment.

[00:07:26] If this sort of stuff interests you, you may be interested in my “Ultimate Confidence Cheat Sheet for Entrepreneurs” where I’ve got five proven ways to stop spinning in doubt and start feeling confident as fuck. That is a freebie. The link will be above or below. If you don’t see a link, just reach out and I’ll get it for you. I would love to have you have that so that you have that resource. You have a resource that’s right there.

[00:07:55] And of course, afformations is one of those because yeah, that’s how magical I think that they are. That’s how magical they are. Not that I think that they actually are.

[00:08:04] Of course, with afformations, you can use them any time throughout the day as required. You also might want to start your day with some and maybe at, you know, intervals throughout the day just to get into that habit of asking those questions.

[00:08:19] Especially since they can seem a little bit silly or a little bit bizarre, so to speak, because of the wording of them like, “Why am I always feeling confident” or “Why is confidence so easy for me?” That’s a little bit of, maybe a bizarre question that we’re used to because we’re used to being like, “Why do I not have any confidence? Why am so unworthy?” We were so used to asking those heavy questions. It might take some muscle building, so to speak, to get you intointo asking these afformations.

[00:08:55] With that myself, I’ve always found just getting in the habit. How can you create that habit?

[00:09:01] I have spoken at length for years about how I create habits. My favorite way is of course the Reminder app on my phone. This pops up at a certain time, whatever I’ve set it for. Ask affirmation or it could just say, “afformations.” I don’t necessarily have to have a specific one I ask all the time, but just something to get you in the habit of creating the habit of asking.

[00:09:26] And then what occurs with that is you will start to notice that that becomes more of your set point than the doubt and the distraction and the upset and the frustration and all of that, but it takes us with what I often call that “tenacity.” The tenacity to be like, “You know what? Yes, I’m doing this no matter what.”

[00:09:50] The other thing that I talk a lot about is “familiar energy.” And so, familiar energy, to me, is if you’ve spent most of your life doubting and feeling unworthy and in frustration and all of that, that’s a very familiar energy. When we add something like this, like asking afformations that could assist us to change that familiar energy, sometimes we resist it because the familiar energy is so… familiar. Imagine that. But it’s so much more valuable because we’re so familiar with it, we’re so comfortable with it.

[00:10:29] This is where the tenacity comes in. This is where how can you create it as a habit? This is where, for me, the Reminder app popping up to remind me. You could use sticky notes. It doesn’t matter. But what do you need to do? What action can you take to shift that familiar energy to go beyond the comfort of that familiar energy into what you would actually like?

[00:10:50] That’s something you’ve got to look for yourself. It does take the tenacity, but let me tell you guys, it is so worth it. It’s so worth it to change it and to actually be feeling confident more than you’re not. That’s magic, my sweet friend.

[00:11:10] I would love to have you come and play in January. Again, the Confident as Fuck program. And then of course, there’s the freebie guide you can go download. Links are above or below.

[00:11:20] Have a great week. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

Why You Should Be Bragging

Dec 10, 2023 | Radio Show

Why You Should Be Bragging

Are you celebrating YOU?

All our lives, we have been taught that bragging is “bad,” “wrong,” and all the things, but hear me out. What if it’s actually the missing piece to celebrating YOU? Join me in this week’s episode as we talk about bragging so we can all start acknowledging the magic that we BE.

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RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
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[00:00:00] Why you should be bragging. Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you.

[00:00:13] Yeah, why you should be bragging? I know that most of us were probably taught as children that bragging is very, very wrong. In fact, it’s maybe even like a judgeable offense if you are a bragger. I believe there’s even like bragger bragger — no, that’s liar liar. Okay. But anyway, we’ve mostly been told that it’s wrong. I’m here to say, what if it’s not? What if that’s actually a missing piece of you really celebrating you?

[00:00:47] Now, do I mean that we have to go on social media or walk up to people and start talking about how amazing we are, great we are? You could, of course, but that’s not actually what I’m talking about.

[00:00:59] What I’m talking about in this case is what about you bragging to you about you? What a different concept. I know. It’s just that we downplay our gifts, our capacities, our accomplishments, our victories, whatever you want to call them. We downplay them so much that we don’t even celebrate them. We don’t even recognize that we’ve done something that is celebratory because we’re so used to downplaying them. We’re so used to making them like, “Oh, it’s just no big deal. It’s just no big deal.:”

[00:01:39] I was recently working with a client and she has this huge following on social media. In our session, she was talking about how she has so little people on her email list. Okay?

[00:01:57] Now, that may be the case, but she was doing it as how much less she is, how wrong she is that she has nobody. I’m like, “But look at that group. Look at that group.” She said, “Oh well, no, that’s because of whatever…” and really downplayed it rather than going, “Wow.”

[00:02:19] And then of course, in that case, a question can be how to move them from the Facebook group onto her email list if that’s what you’re looking for. But the first step, the first step, is acknowledging what you’ve done, what you’ve created.

[00:02:35] I know that most of us, again, are taught that we’re to focus on what isn’t working or what is not where we would like it to be. But you know what? We’ll never, ever, ever be completely happy and satisfied with where we’re at. And let’s celebrate that, too.

[00:02:56] Now, I’m going to explain that a little bit because it kind of sounds like, “What? That’s it? I’ll never be happy and satisfied?” That’s not it. It’s just that every one of us — if you’re still watching this a few minutes in, we’re listening to this, however you’re consuming this, you’re still here, then you would like more out of your life constantly. I mean constantly, and I think we should celebrate that.

[00:03:22] I’m the same way. The same way. I can achieve some goal or dream or victory or something, and then it’s like, “All right. Now, what? Now, what?” and there’s the next thing. We’re like that. That’s just who we are. Let’s celebrate that.

[00:03:39] But also, when we do have reached that goal or accomplished the dream or whatever it is, let’s also celebrate that instead of downplaying like, “Oh, that just happened because so and so did whatever,” or “I mean, that wasn’t really me.” It’s like… oh.

[00:03:55] I remember years ago, it was 2002 when I took my first Reiki class. It was so drilled into us in that class, and I continued drilling it as I facilitated Reiki classes in the years after, that we were never, ever, ever to acknowledge ourselves if somebody had anything occur in that Reiki session. If somebody came in with a headache and they had a Reiki session and they didn’t have the headache after, we were always to say, “Oh, it wasn’t me. It was the energy.”

[00:04:33] Now, on one hand, I totally get that. It is not probably healthy to say, “Oh, that was totally me,” because it’s not if there’s a whole mix, right? If we are doing Reiki or any sort of energy work on someone else, it’s a mix. It’s that person receiving it and us and all the things.

[00:04:53] But to totally cut it down every time — and I was so stuck in it, I’m going to say, that somebody who knew nothing about any of this – they tried Reiki for the first time because they hadn’t had success with anything else out there, and they just tried it and they just said after, “Wow, I feel so good,” my response to that wasn’t “You’re welcome.” It wasn’t “I’m happy about that.” It was “It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

[00:05:21] I mean, it sounds so ridiculous now, but that is the energy of it. I had been taught and I had really taken it on that somehow I would — I don’t know what would happen to me if I said, “Oh, I’m glad that we created that” or “I’m glad that that’s occurred,” or received some of my part in that.

[00:05:43] Yeah, right? I mean, there’s so much where we downplay, where we cut off, and it’s like, what if we could actually acknowledge ourselves, celebrate what we did do in that session?

[00:05:57] I don’t mean we have to figure out what we did in that session because stuff like energy work is not really figure-out-able. That’s the magic of it. But also, not pretend that we weren’t part of the magic there because we totally were part of the magic there. Yeah.

[00:06:12] When I talk about why you should brag, this is what I’m talking about. This is where you need to be celebrating you. The more that you celebrate you, the more that you’re going to achieve whatever it is you would like to achieve.

[00:06:28] I have a sweet little kitty here. You might hear her. I don’t know if you can hear that or not, but she’s so cute. I’m currently in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, and at a friend’s house who happens to have a kitty, and she happens to be away right now, so we’re kind of pet sitting. Not kind of, we totally are.

[00:06:47] But anyway, so, bragging for you. Now, I have recently created this really cool daily actionable calendar to be confident as fuck. It is a bonus for anybody who joins us for the Confident as Fuck, the 5-week program that’s coming up starting in January of 2024. If you’re listening to this later, of course, it’s been recorded. You can find it on the same link above or below. If you don’t see a link, reach out.

[00:07:16] But I’ve created this calendar. Every day for 365 days, there’s an actionable step to take to become confident as fuck, to really get that energy. One of the things that I’ve put on there and that’s really inspired this radio show because I thought many people, when they read it, will be like, “No,” is to phone a friend and have a bragging contest.

[00:07:41] Right? Like, why the hell not? And of course, you want to choose the friend wisely. You want it to be somebody who’s maybe choosing like you are in certain ways so that they’re willing and able and excited to do it, and they know that it’s not a competition but that it’s for fun, and it’s building this muscle to really celebrate you, to be confident as fuck, and it can contribute to them also. Like, what if you did?

[00:08:08] Imagine giving yourself — let’s say you phone a friend and you go five minutes each and maybe you, I don’t know, just choose whoever to go first. I was going to say draw straws, but you’re not in the same room so it doesn’t matter however you want to do it.

[00:08:21] The first one goes and they just brag. Brag, like, really get the energy of, like, “Wow, this week I showed up to this meeting and I was prepared and I had everything that I wanted to cover, and I made sure that when they spoke about something I disagreed with that I spoke up,” you know?

[00:08:43] It doesn’t have to be when things go perfect either. It could be like, “You know what? I showed up at the meeting. I wanted to cover these three topics. We didn’t get to the third one. I was really frustrated with myself after. Next time, I know that I’m going to make sure that this occurs.” Right?

[00:08:58] Bragging doesn’t have to be about when did good, when you were perfect. It’s not about that, but it’s about acknowledging. It’s about acknowledging and celebrating and just getting the energy that you succeed every freaking day.

[00:09:14] You succeed every freaking day, but you don’t see those successes. You don’t acknowledge those successes. You wipe them off. You don’t even look back.

[00:09:25] Imagine you, whatever, a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, whatever’s going to bring up the most energy for you, is that you back then? Would have they done this week what you did?

[00:09:37] I’ll tell you for me, no. No. No. The way that I’m choosing to show up now, the way that I’m choosing to live now, the way that I’m choosing to ask for what I would like and allow people around me to be uncomfortable and be demanding in certain ways when it’s appropriate for me, I never would have done that. Maybe a year ago, a little bit a year ago, but five years ago? No. Ten years ago? Oh my gosh, no.

[00:10:10] This week, I still caught myself a few times, when I was asking for what I knew someone else was uncomfortable for, saying “I’m sorry.” I caught myself doing that and I was like, huh? Okay, I didn’t stop it in the moment. I heard myself say it. “I’m sorry, can you help me with this?” And then went afterwards like, wow, I don’t need to be sorry. I can just say, “Hey, can you help me with this?”

[00:10:35] Or with some of them — they were medical professionals that I was around. What I started doing was say, whatever their name is, “May I ask you a question?” And that just changed it because I don’t [go], “Hey, I’m sorry, I have a question.” No. May I ask you a question? That allows them to make the choice if I can or can’t.

[00:10:56] It also starts it off on a different energy than when I walk in and I go, “Oh, I’m sorry…” what the hell? No, I’m not sorry. I’m actually grateful that I have a question. Really grateful.

[00:11:05] What was so cool is that the day after I caught myself saying “I’m sorry” a couple times in regards to asking questions, I ran into a family member in the hospital. She works there and I think we were just chatting about different things and I just was asking about something specific.

[00:11:26] She said, “You know, questioning is really the best thing. You’ll you’ll never, ever go wrong by asking questions.” And I was like, oh, okay, this is really cool. I mean, I know that, and sometimes when I’m in, say, unfamiliar situations, it’s a little bit different and I can kind of lose that.

[00:11:43] My dad’s in the hospital, he had some surgery, everything’s going wonderfully, just in case you’re going, “What’s happening that you’re in a medical institution talking to professionals?” That’s what’s going on. All is well and I’m so grateful. Just wanted to cover that so we didn’t have any panic in anybody’s world.

[00:12:01] So, yeah. So, bragging about you to you or to friends or maybe you like to post on Facebook. You’ll see a lot of my posts can be about bragging. It could be seen as bragging – absolutely. I’m okay with that. There’d have been a time I wasn’t okay with that. I’m okay with that now. Okay, if people want to judge that, if they think it’s wrong, no problem.

[00:12:24] I know for me that it builds my confidence every freaking day the more that I celebrate me to me. If I want to put it out in the world, cool also, but that part isn’t necessary. Just an additional if you’d like to.

[00:12:40] Once again, I would love to have you join me. Confident as Fuck, five weeks to crushing imposter syndrome so you can truly succeed in life and business as if by magic. That starts January, 2024. Again, it is going to be available as a recording afterwards also. And of course, if you would like just the calendar part, that’s available also. Links are above or below. Yeah.

[00:13:06] Have a great week, sweet friends. Keep bragging. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

Is This Why You Are Hiding?

Dec 3, 2023 | Radio Show

Is This Why You Are Hiding?

Show up and be all of you.

Are you hiding parts or pieces of you? Why could that be? Tune in to this episode as we discuss all about this hiding energy and some magical tips and tricks on how you can turn it around. There is no better time than now to be all of us, sweet friends!

HIDDEN

RADIO SHOW TRANSCRIPT

Would you like the PDF of these show notes?
They are sent out each week to everyone on my mailing list!

[00:00:00] Are you hiding because of past experiences? Welcome to Tools To Create A Better Life With Myself, Glenyce Hughes. I am so incredibly grateful that you are here.

[00:00:11] If you are watching the video, that is the arch from St. Louis, Missouri in the background. Yeah, how cool is that? Alright. So, are you hiding because of past experiences?

[00:00:22] I’ve had four different people that I’ve worked with over the past week that have had that sort of hiding energy. Something had occurred in the past and because of that, what they did was they chose to hide instead of be themselves, instead of be who they are in the world, in their business, whatever it may be. And so, it made me wonder how many people, how many of you have had experiences where you then chose to hide based on that.

[00:00:54] One of them, I would say this was probably three of the four, there was something that occurred as a child and they were magical. Maybe they saw their grandparent who had died and they let their parents know that they were with them or something, and it scared their parents. So then, the child took that as it was wrong and bad and shut it down, and then have continued to shut down that energy.

[00:01:21] You want to look at that if this is something you’d like to change and that’s something you remember, or maybe you don’t even remember the experience but there’s an energy as I talk about it. Something you want to be aware of with that, because those can really keep that, you know, as I’ve been talking about a lot lately, is this imposter syndrome where we really stop ourselves from shining, from being all of us.

[00:01:45] You know, my own experience, and I’ve got many shows, if you go back in the last few weeks, about my own, and I didn’t even know I was choosing imposter syndrome. For me, I was echoing other people’s work. That was how it was showing up for me. I wasn’t aware of it.

[00:02:00] But for a lot of people, it’s this. They’ve had basically some sort of an experience where they were told they were bad and wrong for whatever went on and they started shutting it down. And then as they grew into adults, they either never really looked at it or they remembered it, they were aware of it, but they didn’t know what to do with that because that’s a pretty big energy.

[00:02:22] You can imagine if you were a young child and somebody that you cared about had died, and then you energetically saw them or you physically saw them or you connected with their energy and you shared that with people who you love. You expected the joy, you expected the happiness, you expected a totally different response, then being shut down for it. [You] can’t imagine how you would take that forward.

[00:02:50] So, how do you change that now? One of it is just acknowledge it. Acknowledge the magic that it was for you, even if nobody else did. This, to me, is something that we all have to do for ourselves. We really have to look at what we know is magic for us and not look outside of us.

[00:03:13] That’s not really the easiest thing to do. I get that. I get that. We’ve been taught that that’s what we’re supposed to do. That’s how it’s supposed to be in this world. If we’re good, if we’re right, then the outside world will let us know instead of us acknowledging it for ourselves.

[00:03:32] That’s, I would say, the first thing you want to look at is whatever that experience was, acknowledge it for you. Acknowledge the magic you were in that. Acknowledge what was really going on.

[00:03:44] For a lot of people — I’m going to stick with that example of seeing and energetically connecting with someone who had died.

[00:03:51] For a lot of people, that’s a really scary thing. It actually had nothing to do with you as the child. I know you took it on. I know you took it very personal. I know you made it about you, but it had nothing to do with you. It had to do with their own fear. Their own points of views, their own belief systems, whatever it might be.

[00:04:13] Sometimes, there’s this automatic response with stuff like that because this world tells us it’s so wrong. This world tells us when somebody dies, they’re dead, they’re gone, or they have other ideas of it. There’s some religions that believe if you can connect, then you’re the devil or you’re doing the work of the devil and different stuff like that.

[00:04:33] There’s so much stuff out there instead of just acknowledging like, “Hey, you know what? I am magical as fuck. I was able to connect,” and maybe you still are — I am, I was, whatever, able to connect, “and that is magical.”

[00:04:48] Have some grace for yourself. Have some allowance for yourself. You don’t have to make the people or person right or wrong for the other part. That’s their stuff. Let that be, but really acknowledge you for it, and really get in that sense of how would you like that magic to show up now?

[00:05:08] Because here’s the thing: you BE magical. You BE magical. I was so magical I just brought a big noisy train in so I paused for a little bit. Hopefully, it’s going to be this quiet for now.

[00:05:22] When we look at that and we acknowledge ourselves and we acknowledge the magic that we were or we are, however you want to word it, then it allows you to be more of that, where you can actually start to really utilize those capacities.

[00:05:40] When I say capacities, I don’t mean just if you had a situation similar to what I was talking about. It could be in any way.

[00:05:47] Maybe you were singing. Maybe you were singing in the shower and your family made fun of you and you started shutting down. You’ve got capacities with singing. Now, maybe you want to get a voice coach or maybe there’s something there. Or maybe it actually has nothing to do with the singing itself, but it’s like just allowing yourself to be you wherever you would like to be you.

[00:06:08] Here’s the thing with other people’s judgments. When people do that… Let’s say you’ve sung in the shower and then your family judged you, it can be a few things. But for the most part, it’s that they wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t do that. That’s all it means, but we make it so personal. We take it as though they know what they’re talking about. That they’re right and we’re wrong.

[00:06:33] Let’s just stop that, guys. Let’s look at those times where we’ve done that and just let it go.

[00:06:38] A lot of times when I’m working with these clients that I was talking about this week, what I would ask them to do with those energies, with that stuff, with those memories, that contraction, I’ve just asked them [to] let’s just go ahead and melt it. Let’s just melt it, you know?

[00:06:52] If you think of that situation or situations where people did that, just… Go ahead and melt it. You don’t even have to know what you’re doing. Just energetically melt it so that you don’t have to be at the effect of it anymore so that you can really start to shine. You can really get out of this imposter syndrome and really shine as you without all those crazy limitations of “I can’t do this, I shouldn’t do this, this is wrong, this is right.”

[00:07:22] It’s like… What if there’s no right or wrong? What if it’s just about you being you in whatever way you would like that to be?

[00:07:33] Yeah. Yeah, that’s a lot of energy that just came up with that. So, would you go ahead and just melt that? Would you just go ahead and melt all the reasons and justifications you have for not doing that? All of the becauses, all of the “But didn’t you know, Glenyce, blah, blah, blah…” Let’s just melt all of that so that you can actually, actually be you and shine as you on this planet.

[00:08:02] I invite you to my upcoming 5-week program called “Confident As Fuck,” where we’re going to crush imposter syndrome. Each week is a different topic and there’s been some bonuses added. If you haven’t looked at the sales page lately, go check them out. I believe there’s three or four new bonuses added.

[00:08:23] It’s so exciting, guys. I’m so thrilled with everybody who’s chosen it so far. We start January 2nd, 2024. If you’re listening later, of course, it’s all recorded and everything. There’ll be a link above or below, but I would love to have you come play to really start shifting this so that you can let go of that past.

[00:08:42] So often we have this kind of energetically where we’re constantly looking behind us to choose our future. And what if we stopped? What if we started just choosing our future?

[00:08:53] What if we just started creating what we would like to create rather than the limitation of looking behind us and going, “Oh, but that one time I sang in the shower, they made fun of me. That one time I talked about so-and-so being here with us, they, they told me I worked for the devil” or something like that?

[00:09:12] I actually got a letter like that once. In case you didn’t know, I spent about 10-12 years actually being a professional medium. I was probably a year or two into it, so I was fairly new at it.

[00:09:26] It just started one day, the month of my very first radio show. It’s called “Tell Her I Love Her.” If you want more about that, that link will be somewhere. If you don’t find these links, guys, just reach out, I’ll get them for you.

[00:09:38] And so… I got a letter and it wasn’t signed or anything, but it was that. It was that I was working for the devil and that I needed to stop and that it was wrong and all those things.

[00:09:49] I remember it so clearly because what I remember it being was basically, here’s a reason you could stop. Here’s a reason you could not do this anymore. It’s like the universe was giving me an out if I wanted it.

[00:10:04] What I did from just this real potency — I still remember the energy because I didn’t even read it all. It was like pages. Well, it wasn’t this thick but it was thick, pages and pages long. And so, I basically went to the very end and read the last paragraph or so, and it was like, oh, okay. I see. I see this isn’t welcome to the world. This is a “You’re all wrong.”

[00:10:26] What I did is I just started ripping it up into the tiniest pieces and put it into a canister thing, and I burnt it. That was like my way of saying no. I know that what I’m doing is creating greater. I know that this isn’t the work of the devil. I just knew it. It was so clear for me.

[00:10:48] If we could have that clarity with everything in our life, with everything in our life, even the people who tell us we’re wrong or bad or we shouldn’t or we’re not supposed to, just know that that is their stuff. Know that that is their stuff.

[00:11:02] The way that I see it at this point is if there was ever a time to be all of us, now is the time, guys. Now is the time.

[00:11:12] I’m sure that you see all the things going on in the world as I do. I don’t speak about it mostly because I have no clue what to say. It’s not that I’m oblivious, it’s not that I’m pretending, it’s not that I’m oversimplifying anymore. That’s a big thing I used to do, yes.

[00:11:35] When we do shit like, “Well, that’s just a choice,” no. That’s oversimplification. That’s very unkind. I’m aware of it. I do what I can in the ways that I can, and let’s do more. Let’s shine more. Let’s be all of us even more now because that is what I get will really shift and change all of this is more of us being us and shining in ways that maybe we never even knew was possible.

[00:12:10] So again, come and join me in the Confident as Fuck, 5-week program starting January 2nd. If you don’t see the links above or below, just let me know and I will get them for you.

[00:12:19] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

How a Hero Inspired Me

Nov 26, 2023 | Radio Show

How a Hero Inspired Me

Let’s all be heroes today.

It was a pretty normal morning in my hotel room when I overheard two women right outside my door. One of them, whom I started calling “Hero,” said something that took me to tears and had me looking at my own life. Let me tell you all about it in this episode and hopefully, it inspires you, too!

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[00:00:00] How a hero inspired me. Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you.

[00:00:13] Yeah, so we are still in the United States on our travels, pet and house sitting. We have the cutest little, I believe, long-haired dachshund right now in St. Louis, Missouri. Oh my gosh. I’ll put a little video on here of him. Oh my gosh.

[00:00:32] Anyway, last night, because our sit didn’t start until today, we spent the night in a hotel close by. This morning — very early in the morning, I was sitting at the desk in the hotel and I could hear two women out in the hallway. I’m pretty sure they were standing right by my door because it was like I was sitting in the middle of them. It was very, very clear what they were saying.

[00:00:58] Basically, what had occurred, as much as I could get, was the one woman was treated very poorly by the desk clerk. Very, very poorly, let me just say. The other woman — these are two strangers — obviously saw that occur.

[00:01:20] When they were in the hallway, the one who I have called “Hero,” — yes, I have renamed her as “Hero” — she was very intensely sharing with this woman that that is not okay and what she should do instead.

[00:01:42] Apparently what had occurred is this desk clerk [was] very, very unkind to this one woman, and the woman went upstairs and was crying. She was crying out in the hallway on her way back to her room.

[00:01:53] Hero stepped in and said, “Listen, you can’t be doing that. You can’t just let somebody to treat you like that and come up here and cry.” She said, “You go back down there. You make sure that you see the policies.” There were some things that were said and charges that were made in terms of financial charges for additional guests and all these things.

[00:02:19] Hero was so… inspirational, but also like, holy. [Glenyce laughs] You would definitely know if Hero spoke to you in that way. She was so passionate about it and so clear in terms of like, “No, you don’t take that shit. You do not take that shit. You actually don’t take that shit.”

[00:02:44] At one point she said to this woman, and this is the part that just really, it just took me to tears. She said, “I don’t even know you, and you are my sister.”

[00:02:57] What? “I don’t even know you, and you are my sister.” Guys, imagine. Imagine a world where we lived that. Where we looked at everybody, female or male or non-gender — I don’t know the proper term, I apologize — and we said, “I don’t know you but I got your back.” That’s what she was saying. I don’t know you and I have your back.

[00:03:30] There’d be some people who maybe would say, “Hero didn’t have that woman’s back because she is hard on her.” She was hard on her but damn, was it good. It was the hardness that most of us would never ever give, but probably should.

[00:03:51] There’s probably times in our lives where we should give it to ourselves or we should give it to somebody else. That woman this morning — I mean, at least from what I could hear through the door. I mean, honestly, I wanted to open the door and clap, but it really would have been inappropriate, but that is like that.

[00:04:09] Hero required, like, she deserved a standing ovation for her just having this woman’s back. The other woman required to know that yes, Hero has her back, but so do the rest of us. And it’s okay to say, “No, this doesn’t work.” [Just] because somebody’s a desk clerk, because somebody has a role in assisting you with your hotel room, it doesn’t give them the right to treat you poorly. It doesn’t give them the right to make charges up.

[00:04:43] I mean, this whole story isn’t about that occurred. It was really about Hero and how she didn’t know her and [yet], she was her sister.

[00:04:57] I just looked at my own life, and especially traveling as much as we have in these past few months, where I wouldn’t go out of my way to be unkind. That’s just not who I am. But sometimes, there’s just no kindness. Sometimes I’m matching the energy of people around me.

[00:05:19] What Hero reminded me of this morning was matching the energy of people around me is not okay. It’s not an excuse because each one of us — sisters, brothers, others, whatever, it doesn’t matter — would like more. I know because you’re still watching or listening to this. I know you would like more. You wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t.

[00:05:53] We would like more. We need to be more. We need to be more [like] Hero. We need to call people out when they need to be called out, and not from betterness or anything but from, “Hey, I’ve got your back but let’s step the fuck up.”

[00:06:12] No, you don’t go upstairs crying, and maybe you do. Honestly, that would be something I would need to do. I’d need to go cry and do that, and then I could go. That’s exactly [what] this woman [did].

[00:06:22] Again, I’ve overheard in the hallway. I’m just sitting right in my desk. That’s all I was doing. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I could not help it. I did hear her talk to somebody else. She just said, “Oh, I went down and got this information, and it still didn’t quite sound like the information…”

[00:06:40] Honestly, I was wishing that Hero would go downstairs with her, but I also realized that Hero can’t be there all the time. Hero gave this woman the kick in the ass, I’m going to say, that she needed. What she does with that is totally up to her.

[00:06:58] I’m not saying it would be easy, because it’s not. There’s so few of us that appreciate confrontation, but that’s the problem. We don’t like confrontation, so we get the people that will walk all over us. We get the people who will treat us unfairly. We get the people who will charge us for things that don’t need to be charged for, shouldn’t be charged for, are not legal to charge for.

[00:07:23] I hear at one point she’s like, “You should sue them!” I’m like, okay, I think you might be going a little far with this woman right now. She can’t hear that, but anyway.

[00:07:33] And so I was so inspired by this. “I don’t even know you, and you are my sister.”

[00:07:44] I’ve spent the rest of the day looking at everybody including myself, including Hubby. I’ll be honest. At times, guys, we spend a lot of time before we spent a lot of time together. Now, we spend a lot of time together. There’s times where I’m not seeing him as a sister, which sounds really wrong. But you know what I mean? Like, you know, there isn’t a kindness at all. And it’s like, what if… what if I could change that?

[00:08:21] What if every person on the street, every person I interacted with everywhere, I could have their back? And then taking it a step further… what if I had that for myself?

[00:08:36] I was kind of having this — I’m a very visual person so I sometimes have… I don’t know what you call them, daydreams or thoughts in my head about the visual things. I was visually imagining, what if it was one person? I know it wasn’t, but what if it was?

[00:08:55] What if that woman was standing in front of a mirror in the hallway and I took it as two people. What if she’s talking to herself? What if we actually talked to ourselves like that? What if we had our own backs the way that Hero had this other woman’s back? What if we said the hard things? What if we said, “You don’t come up here and cry. You go deal.”

[00:09:19] I mean, she didn’t say this, but basically she said, “You put on your big girl panties and you deal.” She had kids with her, the other woman. She said, “You don’t want your kids doing this. You don’t want your kids seeing this. You want your kids to see that you’ve got them and they’ve got you and you can deal.”

[00:09:36] And it was just… I’ve got words, obviously. I’ve said many words now about it, but the words really cannot say everything that I received from this morning.

[00:09:49] Especially in the past few months for myself, there’s just so much going on in the planet that honestly at times I think, what’s the point? What’s the fucking point? Everybody’s killing. Everybody’s hating. Everybody’s separating. There’s so much, there’s so much.

[00:10:11] And then, Hero, this morning, she restored part of the humanity, that this is a thing. That there’s still people on the planet who would do this for somebody.

[00:10:26] I wouldn’t have done that. If I would have interacted, if I would have seen what went on, I would have, if I had the chance, had a conversation with the woman who had went through it, but it wouldn’t have been like that. It would have been probably a lot more of like, “Hey, are you okay? Can I help you?” It would have been more that energy, not this like, boom, that Hero had. And damn, that was good.

[00:10:50] That was so much. So much more than… so much more to change it, I guess is what we could say, because there’s a kindness we can be when somebody who’s went through something that we can really contribute to and assist with in certain ways.

[00:11:10] But when you call it like it is and you say what’s required and you don’t give room for wallowing — I’m not sure if that’s the word, but that’s the energy of it — and you make it really clear what’s required, that woman then had the confidence to go back down to the front desk and deal. She went and did the thing that she probably never in a million years would have done without Hero saying what she did.

[00:11:39] If Hero would have just come in and comforted her, I mean, there would have been something there, but nothing to the degree of getting her to go back down to the front desk and deal. Like, wow. That takes a level of energy and kindness and like, wow. Just… wow is all I have to say, and just how inspired I am by it all.

[00:12:03] I did a little post shortly after on Facebook about it and I said at the end of the post, “Let’s all go be heroes today.” So guys, let’s all go be heroes today.

[00:12:14] Man, I tell you what. If by any chance the trucker that was at that hotel in Missouri who I’m calling “Hero” — I believe she said she drove an 18-wheeler. I think it’s an 18-wheeler. I think it was [in] Claysville, Missouri, the hotel I was at -, Quality Inn.

[00:12:38] If she happens to be watching this, I just gotta say thank you. Thank you for showing me what else is possible. Thank you for inviting me to a level of kindness and potency, and having someone you don’t even know’s back that I didn’t even know was possible. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Gosh. If we’re ever somewhere together, I would love to buy you a drink.

[00:13:12] So, there we go guys. There is the inspiration that I received this morning at, I don’t know, 7:30 in the morning. It was amazing. Have a great week. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

What is Perfectionism Costing You?

Nov 19, 2023 | Radio Show

What is Perfectionism Costing You?

Spoiler alert: A lot!!!

Let me tell you now, sweet friends, it takes a TON of time and energy to be a perfectionist. Is it really worth all that? Tune in to this episode where we discuss this and the tools you can use to manage, and possibly overcome, perfectionism so you could open yourself up to more magic and possibilities.

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[00:00:00] What does being a perfectionist cost you? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life With Myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I’m so incredibly grateful for you.

[00:00:11] Yes, if you’re watching this on a video, I am swinging. We are at a house and pet sit in Melbourne, Florida. They have a tiki bar with swings, a big ol’ pool over there, and the sweetest little puppy named Max, who is 119 in human years.He’s sleeping, as he does a lot.

[00:00:31] So, what does being a perfectionist cost you? A lot. A lot. Whether you’re being a perfectionist in your business, in your personal life, it doesn’t really matter. If you look at the time and the energy you put into being the perfectionist, it’s costing you a lot of that time and energy.

[00:00:51] Where is that really coming from? Being a perfectionist is often from this place of controlling ourselves, this place of needing to be right, and it takes 110% judgment to do that.

[00:01:05] So… if that is you, if you are a perfectionist, if you know that you have to do things and redo them and do them and redo them and have all the judgment in there, what you might want to start looking at is if that was a friend of yours and they were showing you, let’s say you’re doing a video for business. If they showed you that video, what would you do? What would you say? Would you tell them to re-record it?

[00:01:32] Now, in some cases, absolutely. There’s been times where I’ve restarted videos, of course, restarted podcasts, of course, or clipped out something I said in the middle of it. 90% of the time, I don’t have to do any of that. I just sit down and start talking and we clip off the very beginning and, of course, me getting into the swing, nobody needs to see that, and then the very end. But 90% of the time, that’s it.

[00:01:55] And then, there’s 10% of the time where it’s like, man, that just didn’t fit what I was saying or I didn’t find the words and it just doesn’t make a very good audio or video or whatever it is.

[00:02:06] It’s not that re-recording or doing something again is necessarily wrong. It’s just what’s the energy behind it. If you need it to be perfect, one, you’re not going to get stuff out there. It’s going to cost you a lot in business because you’re going to be very slow.

[00:02:23] One of the things that I find so interesting on, say, TikTok. Now, there’s lots of different social media platforms and I’m just speaking directly about TikTok right now. If you were to watch some of the videos on there, there are some where they intentionally make a mistake because it gets more views, it gets more comments.

[00:02:46] What I mean by that is if you watch a cooking video and they’re, say, cutting up a lemon, they’ll actually leave the sticker on the lemon so that people go into their comments and say, “Oh my gosh, you missed the sticker on the lemon. Oh, you just drank that,” or whatever it is. It’s really funny. It’s a bizarre thing. The perfect, what we might define as “perfect” or “polished” isn’t actually the things that get the engagement.

[00:03:14] I would say, for me, if I was going to guess why that would be is because we know we’re not perfect. We know nobody is perfect. If somebody’s coming across in their video or in their business that they’re perfect, it’s not going to speak to the same people. It’s not going to have the same energy.

[00:03:35] Will there be some people? Of course, because we’re maybe looking to get a little bit better. But 100% perfect, polished all the time? Probably not.

[00:03:44] The other thing that you want to look at is… in my experience, and a lot of people will tell you this, is that it’s the story that gets people engaged with. Again, I’m speaking about it from a business standpoint. It’s the story that gets people engaged. If you have to be perfect, you’re probably not sharing those stories where you weren’t perfect.

[00:04:08] Now, I stumbled across this by accident. When I first started this podcast back in 2013, oh my goodness, what I started doing was just sharing my stories. Sharing of where I was at and how I changed it.

[00:04:22] I didn’t do that because I read a book. I didn’t do that because a business mentor told me to do that. All those years ago, I wasn’t working actually with business mentors. I was just doing what was fun for me. What I found was sharing the story, sharing the problem where I was at and how I changed it. It’s what people were really interested in.

[00:04:41] Again, if we go back to being a perfectionist — and there’s certainly radio shows, podcasts, videos that I’ve put out where it was like, “Oh no, I know how to do this and here’s how you do this, and now go do this.” They’re not so fun to watch compared to “Here’s where I was struggling, here’s how I changed it, and here’s how you could change it too.”

[00:05:03] Going back to the title of the show, what is being a perfectionist costing you? A lot. A lot of time. A lot of energy. A lot of creativeness. That judgment and that wrongness that we put ourselves in is actually killing all of our creations. It’s killing our possibilities.

[00:05:24] Again, I’ve been speaking to it from a business standpoint which, yes, absolutely, but it doesn’t have to be. This could be your personal life, too.

[00:05:33] If your house always has to be perfect to the point where you don’t have people over because it’s not perfect or you feel shame if somebody stops in unannounced, then that’s costing you your mental health. That’s costing you your sanity.

[00:05:49] Now, all of this, how do you change it? How do you change it?

[00:05:52] To me, first step with everything is really looking at acknowledging it. Being like, “Wow, I’m trying to be perfect here” or “I think I need to be perfect here” or “I should be perfect here, isn’t that interesting?” Call it what it is. “I’m doing this, interesting.” “I’m doing this and I’m wrong,” no. “I’m doing this and interesting. Okay, cool.”

[00:06:17] You could look at, “Okay, so what would I like it to be like?” Hmm, I’d like to be okay with people stopping in unannounced. Okay, what is that actually going to take? The house being perfect all the time? No, that’s not it. It’s being okay with what is.

[00:06:36] And also looking at, in this case, people stopping by unannounced are probably friends. What if you look at those friends? Are they coming over to judge your space? If they are, then maybe they’re not so much friends. But probably not. They’re just coming to see you. They don’t care what your house is like.

[00:06:53] Now, in some cases, you might really just not be happy with the way your house is and you would rather it be different before people came over. Cool, then what can you put in place to get it, to change it so that you can have guests that are unannounced?

[00:07:08] Now, I say that [and] I’m laughing at myself in my head because I’m not a huge fan of unannounced guests and it has nothing to do with the state of my home or other people’s homes as it is now. It really has to do with my comfort level of having people unannounced.

[00:07:28] As I’m saying that, please know you don’t have to be okay with unannounced guests. You can have it be where it just doesn’t work for you and you ask people to let you know when they’re coming by. That’s totally fine. But if you’re doing it from the shame or you need to be perfect, that’s a different energy.

[00:07:43] Acknowledging what is – okay, here’s where I’m operating from. How would I like to be operating? How would I like this to be? Start looking at that instead.

[00:07:52] The other thing is a lot of people who are perfectionists, of course, they might have received that message growing up. You might have had a parent tell you that you need to be perfect, you need to get it right. That might’ve been really drilled into you. I get that that can be a huge factor for some people.

[00:08:11] It’s great to say, “Oh, I’m just going to acknowledge what it is,” and I get that that could be bigger for you. Please know that’s okay if it is, and that you might want to look at what’s required to change that, to change that programming.

[00:08:25] There might be a different therapist, or A therapist. There might be somebody who can assist you with it. There might be a book to read. There’s a bazillion things. We want to look at that, too. We don’t want to, the word is called “bypass,” where we just go, “Oh no, I’m fine and I’m just going to not be a perfectionist.” No. If that’s really drilled into you and that’s really where you’re operating from, that’s a different story.

[00:08:47] The other place that perfectionists can be coming from for a lot of people is the Impostor Syndrome. I did an amazing free training this week and it’s available for download. You’ll find the link above or below. It’s called “A Tool to Crush Impostor Syndrome.”

[00:09:02] It was so much fun. Oh my goodness. You might want to go check that out and see if that fits for you. See if there’s some magic in there to really assist you with that.

[00:09:13] But that’s one of the places where it can come from. It’s just having this idea that you’re not valuable as you are, so you need to then be perfect to be valuable. What if that’s just this huge lie? Like, huger than huge than huge lie that many people have been buying into because you don’t need anything added, ever, to be valuable, my sweet friend. You are valuable just by being. You are valuable just by being.

[00:09:47] If you want to start paying attention to the places where you’ve decided you’re not valuable, or that you need to add things to be valuable, that’s a really great place to start looking at the imposter syndrome, too.

[00:09:58] Now, I’m not saying that every person on the planet is operating from imposter syndrome. Studies have shown 82% of the people on the planet are operating from imposter syndrome.

[00:10:08] There are people like Taylor Swift — yes, I’m a new Swiftie. I’ll be going to her concert next year, 2024. Very excited. There’s like Tom Hanks. These big names who, if you see them perform, you just think they have it all. They’ve got it all figured out. They’re totally confident in who they are. Sometimes, yeah. Like every one of us, sometimes, yes, and sometimes, no.

[00:10:36] Along with that free training, what that is inviting everyone to is a new program that I’ve got starting in January of 2024. If you’re watching or listening to this later, it will be available, of course, in a course form. It’s called “Confident as Fuck.” It’s a 5-week program where we will crush imposter syndrome so you can truly succeed in business and life.

[00:11:00] If you’d like more information, again, that link will be above or below, but do check out that free training. There’s a lot of information in there to really start shifting it, and that tool is magical no matter what area of your life. No matter how you’re dealing, how you’re showing up with this imposter syndrome.

[00:11:18] Just to recap, what I’d like you to look at if you’re struggling with this perfectionist stuff is start acknowledging when you’re choosing it. Start acknowledging when you’re operating from it. And then look at, “Okay, what would I like it to be like? How would I like that to be?”

[00:11:33] If you’re not putting videos out – let’s say you’re recording videos and you’re not putting them out because they’re not good enough, how would you like it to be? Well, probably putting them out. Then just do it! Just do it.

[00:11:44] Remember the people who, on purpose, cut up a lemon that still has this sticker and put it in a blender so that they get more engagement. If you’re messing it up, you’re probably going to get more engagement, and how much fun can that be? How much fun can you have with all of this?

[00:11:59] Have a great week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.

Did you love the show? Please leave a review on your fave podcast app! I am SO grateful!!

How to Show Up as You

Nov 12, 2023 | Radio Show

How to Show Up as You

Ready to live your life as you?

As we dive deeper into crushing imposter syndrome, another question that often pops up is how do we show up as ourselves? Let’s answer that in this week’s episode as I share more of my magical tips and tricks so you could start showing up everyday as your truest selves and living your life on your own terms.

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[00:00:00] How to show up as you? Welcome to Tools to Create a Better Life with myself, Glenyce Hughes. Thank you so much for being here. I am so incredibly grateful for you. Yeah.

[00:00:13] If you’re watching this on video, you see a beautiful swimming pool behind me and in a few hours, the water will start coming out of that hot tub area. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t work to do my videos with that much noise going on so I had to come out a little bit early, which also means I’m not in there because it’s a very cold pool, which I love when it’s so hot out. I am in Florida in November. It’s amazing. And the pool is amazing, but not at 8 o’clock in the morning. So, there we go.

[00:00:43] All right. How to show up as you? My goodness. This is probably one of the most asked questions of me lately, especially as I’m talking more and more about imposter syndrome.

[00:00:55] I had a free call. If you didn’t get the download, you can go and access that. Link will be above or below. It is an invitation into a 5-week program that I’ve got starting in January of 2024 all about Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can actually feel confident and successful in your life and in business. Yeah. Let’s do it, guys. Let’s do it.

[00:01:20] If you haven’t seen my previous two radio shows where one is about my journey with imposter syndrome that I didn’t even know I was doing, and then also about kind of going beyond doubt with it. This is kind of just another piece of that.

[00:01:35] So, to show up as you, really, you have to recognize that you have value as you. Not as an echo of somebody else’s work, which I did for so many years. Not as someone that you pretend to be, or pretend to be to fit in, but you. You have value as you. Ah, right?

[00:02:03] How do you show up as you? I get that we can start choosing to show up as us even if we don’t have, say, crushed imposter syndrome just yet. Maybe we’re still operating it from bits and pieces or maybe a lot, it doesn’t matter, but we can still choose to show up as us. What it takes, in my experience, is recognizing when you’re not. Recognizing when you’re choosing to show up as someone else, or show up in a way that you fit in, or show up in a way that makes other people happy.

[00:02:37] It was a big one for me, I would say, probably my entire life. My value that I’d put on myself and others had put on around me was making sure other people were happy. That was where my value was. So, it wasn’t actually a value. That’s no value of me. That’s a value of something that I can do, and I can do it very well. Let me tell you, oh my gosh. I could have awards in it as probably many of you could also, and that’s not showing up as me. That’s showing up as how someone else would like me to be, or act, or do, or whatever it is.

[00:03:14] First step is to really start looking at where are you not doing that? Be aware of that. When you walk into a room and you maybe weren’t just feeling 100% bubbly, but you walk in and you just put that face on like, “Oh my gosh, everything’s amazing, everything’s perfect,” it’s like, that’s not you. That’s your being something for somebody else.

[00:03:36] Now, maybe in some situations, that’s appropriate and possibly not. You really have to look at that for you. Look at where you’re not being you.

[00:03:46] Do I mean you should walk into a group of people and be like, “Oh, everything’s horrible and all is awful and the world is coming to an end.”? I’m not sure that’s you either. You might though be in that space and that’s also okay. That’s also okay. In that case, you might actually, if you were choosing for you, you might not even go to that thing, that event, that group thing.

[00:04:07] I mean, I’m talking very generally so you really need to look at it for you. Really need to look at all the different pieces and parts for you, but that is where you want to start. Start calling yourself out. Just you personally, you don’t need to announce it, but call yourself out when you’re not choosing that, when you’re not being you.

[00:04:26] You don’t even have to change it. This is the thing, guys, that I have found to be the most helpful is I let myself off the hook. I can acknowledge I’m not being me but I don’t have to do anything about it. If I want to, I can, but I do not have to. This has been such a game changer because then I’m more apt to call myself out on it. I’m more willing to say what I’m choosing or acknowledge what I’m choosing when I also don’t have to change it.

[00:04:57] Be like, “Wow, I’m really choosing to be somebody else here. Okay, cool,” and then I could change it or not. That becomes the choice, but it’s not relevant. That is, I would say, step number two, in a sense. Not that I’ve thought of these as steps, but that’s the way I’m speaking to them. Acknowledge when you’re on it, and don’t force yourself to change it.

[00:05:16] For some of it, there might be an awareness of what that is. Maybe every time you get together with a certain friend group, you choose not to be you. There might be some information in that. There might be some awareness in there for you. It’s not right or wrong, you know?

[00:05:34] As you guys know, if you’ve been around here for a while, we’ve been house and pet sitting around Canada and the US for many months now, like, July, August, September, October, November. Five months now. I can’t believe it’s been that long. We are loving it.

[00:05:48] But one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I will not be all of me when we are in, say, the interview process. The way that it works with Trusted House Sitters — if anybody’s interested, reach out. I’ve got a link. It will save you, I think it’s 25%, and I also get a couple months free if you use it.

[00:06:08] So, you apply for a sit you’re interested in, and then we invite them to do a Zoom. I always invite them to do a Zoom. I just find it easier if we get to meet face to face. And so then I will find that often on those Zooms, I’m not 100% me. I’m more aware of what they would like so we can get the sit. But do I really want to get a sit that I can’t be me on?

[00:06:31] Of course, in the sit process, they maybe introduce us to the animals and the house and in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and then they’re gone. We’re not with them for the sit, but it’s still a funny energy. I’m still aware of it when I’m choosing it.

[00:06:45] We actually had two different things come up this week with people that we’ve applied for sits. In both cases, I was like, if I wasn’t choosing for me, I would actually say yes to this. One, I recognized it, and two, I was willing to change it. It’s like, no, actually, I don’t need to be something different. If they don’t like it, it’s actually okay.

[00:07:12] Yeah, that’s a big part of it for me. It’s like it’s okay if they don’t like it or if they don’t like me. Usually, I’m silly enough to make it personal. It’s crazy, right? “They don’t like me.” It’s not about that.

[00:07:24] But I was willing – I was willing to acknowledge it, I was willing to choose different, and I was willing to voice it, which I’m just so proud of because It changes so much. It changes so much. Now, I will be even more willing to be me in those sorts of situations.

[00:07:42] Look at that for yourself. Look at when you’re not being all of you, when you are choosing for other people or to make other people happy, or all of that insanity, and then look at, “Okay, what would I actually like here? What would I actually like here?”

[00:07:59] I mean, I’ve always had such great adoration and respect for people who are willing to just be honest with what works for them and what doesn’t work for them in situations because, again, I tended to more often just to be aware of what the other person wanted and say that’s what I wanted, and then be upset and resentful and all the crazy-judgy of me, judgy of them sometimes.

[00:08:24] The willingness to be me and say yes or no in situations without adding any story to it, it’s a huge part. It’s a huge part. It’s a huge part to then being willing to be more of me in every situation.

[00:08:39] These are something, kind of like a job interview, right? We’re in a job interview, and being willing to say what works for me or doesn’t work for me, you might not get that job. It’s funny that that’s more valuable. Being the chosen one is more valuable than actually being the choosing one.

[00:09:03] Partly my willingness to say no in these situations was recognizing how much fun it isn’t when I choose something that I know is a no for me. And then it’s not fun, and then I’m cranky, and all the things.

[00:09:20] You can apply this in any area of your life, of course. A lot of times we talk about this from a business standpoint, because we look at, say, our potential clients, our potential customers, as they are everything, right? There’s a saying that the customer’s always right. Is that actually true? No. Sometimes, absolutely.

[00:09:42] We had bought some shirts here for Hubby at Macy’s and I washed them. I washed them because I said to him, “You know what? I’m not sure you’ll follow the instructions so I’m going to do it” as we spent enough money on them. They’re beautiful shirts. I washed them as per instructed and they still shrunk.

[00:10:01] They were a Columbia shirt, so I actually talked to Columbia first. I’ve never done this sort of thing before, but it was like, “No, actually, this is not okay.” I talked to Columbia first. They said we need to take them back to Macy’s.

[00:10:13] Right on Macy’s receipt, it says if they’re worn, [they’re] not taking them back. But I’m like, all right. We went back and they took them back. She pointed out that this was a return policy. They weren’t taking them back, but they would do that.

[00:10:29] In that case, it wasn’t necessarily right. The woman that was assisting us was probably just aware that we had only had them for a few days and all the things. It wasn’t like we had them for six months and he wore them and then we were just tired of them. It was just a couple days.

[00:10:48] Anyway, so that’s one case. But let’s say it had been six months and we took them back and there’d been lots of use on them. Then I’m not right. Again, not that it’s about being right or wrong. That saying can really trip us up as business owners because if the customer is always right, then we are being the chosen one. We’re not being the choosing one.

[00:11:12] There’s been times where I’ve actually fought in terms of, say, a PayPal refund. I’ve actually fought it and said no. They got what they asked for, here’s how it’s all set out, all the pieces. I’ve actually won some of them. Some I didn’t.

[00:11:27] In those cases, it’s okay to be you, to look at what works for you, and also be willing to “lose” those clients and customers that don’t actually contribute or that wouldn’t maybe be fun to continue to play with. That’s something that a lot of times we just don’t look at as business owners. And so we’re not being all of us because we want the client, we want to make sure they’re happy, we don’t want bad reviews, all of this insanity.

[00:12:00] So, lots of things for you to think about. Again, come and join us for the 5-week Stopping Doubt and Crushing Imposter Syndrome so you can feel confident and successful in your business and your life. If you didn’t get the free call, you can go and download it again. If you don’t see any of the links, reach out and I will get them for you.

[00:12:18] Have a fabulous week, sweet friends. I look forward to chatting again next week.